Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!
by machiavelli
Summary: Chaos reigns when seven mysterious heroes suddenly appear on the U.A. High campus! Who are these so-called Avengers? Why are they here? And what do they have to do with the ancient evil that threatens Deku's world?
1. Issue 1

**Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!**

 **Issue 1: The Grand Cross-Over Event Begins! Fifteen Minutes of Predictable Chaos!**

* * *

 _Please note: desktop readers will likely have an easier viewing this story in a font other than Verdana. To select a different reading font, click the large A in the center above the title. Mobile readers should be fine as is._

* * *

On the first page, the sun shines down on one of the fake cities on the grounds of U.A. High. A caption to the side reads, _Replica City District E. U.A. High._ All Might's patented Fearless Laugh rings out over the empty buildings. "Ha HA HA!"

Down by the training area's entrance gates, the famed Symbol of Peace strikes a properly heroic pose. Class 1-A, dressed in costume, gathers around him.

"For today's practical lesson," All Might says, "we'll be doing the first of what will be many **Teamwork Drills!** The scenario should be familiar to everyone who took the entrance exam. Somewhere in the city, a **group of villains** lurks, plotting **unmentionable evil!** This time, however, you'll be **working as a team** to **drive them out** of hiding and **capture them** with your powers!"

On the next page, he draws a white ball out of a box. "In order to test your leadership skills, for each exercise, we'll be selecting both **a leader** and **a second-in-command at random!** Today's captain will be - **YOUNG KIRISHIMA!** " He brandishes the ball, which bears the name _Red Riot_ in silver letters.

The hot-blooded student pumps his fist. " _ALL RIGHT!_ "

"And his executive officer will be -" All Might draws another ball. "- MINETA!"

A cartoonish nosebleed drips down the short purple-clad student's face. "You mean - everyone except Kirishima has to do **whatever** I say? **Including the girls?!** "

This elicits a number of groans. On the next page, Kirishima immediately cuts in. "Okay, ladies - first order. Feel free to ignore **any** of Mineta's commands that don't relate to the assignment."

Jirou lets out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank God."

Tsuyu gives a thumbs-up. "You're the best, Kirishima!"

Undeterred, Mineta rubs his hands together evilly. "Oh-ho! That just means I have to get **creative...** "

 _You know, every day,_ Izuku Midoriya - also known as Deku - thinks as he stands towards the back of the crowd, _I'm kind of shocked that Mineta hasn't gotten the school sued for harassment yet._

 _Anyway - it's probably a good thing that Kirishima's in charge this time around. He's the only one in the class Kacchan might listen to._ Deku eyes his former childhood friend Bakugou, who looks away from him with a typical annoyed sneer. _Well, okay... emphasis on_ _ **might.**_

Next page. "Now that that's settled - **let the battle be joined!** " All Might waves his hand as the training gate behind him opens.

"Right! I'm all charged up!" Kirishima slams his fist into his palm. "Let's go, people!"

"Stay in formation, everyone!" Iida barks. A caption next to him notes, _still acting like he's in charge, even though he's not right now._ "I don't want to see anyone not listening to Kirishima's orders!"

As a group, Class 1-A charges into the training grounds. _Well... however this goes, it'll be a learning experience,_ Midoriya thinks.

"Let's go, Deku!" Uraraka glances back and smiles at him.

"R-right!" Midoriya answers.

* * *

Meanwhile, elsewhere in Site E...

A voice groans out weakly from inside a back-alley dumpster. "Uuurggghhh... anyone get the name of that truck?..." A red-clad hand reaches out and grasps the edge of the dumpster's opening.

Spider-Man pulls himself out of the otherwise empty container. "My head... what happened? Where am I?" A box next to him reads: _SPIDER-MAN! Real name: Peter Parker! Occupation: High school science teacher! Quirk: Does whatever a spider - aww, you know how it goes!_

 _Okay, let's think about this..._ The hero crawls out of the dumpster and drops to the ground. He wanders towards the alley's exit, still clutching his head. _I don't feel drunk... I'm in costume... last thing I remember, I was out on patrol..._ A flashback panel next to him shows him web-slinging through New York. Suddenly, he looks up, his eyes widening as something speeds towards him, the panel fading to white. _My spider-sense suddenly went off and... wait, was I hit by_ _ **lightning?!**_ _Ohhhh, that's not good..._

 _First things first..._ On the next page, the webslinger pulls a smartphone out from his belt. _Let's give Mary-Jane a call. She must be worried sick..._ He tries to wake up the phone. The slightly-cracked screen stays black. "Oh, **come on**... I'm still making payments on you!"

"CONTACT!" Mineta shouts from off-panel.

"- huh?!" Spider-Man feels that familiar, hideous tingle at the back of his mind.

The hero leaps over two stories into the air, his eyes wide, as the ground beneath him explodes without warning!

On the next page, Bakugou elbows Mineta aside. "Outta my way, shorty!"

"Hey!" The shorter student flails helplessly. "You're supposed to be following my orders, remember?!"

"I'm surprised," Hanto Sero, better known as Cellophane, mutters nearby. "I thought for sure we'd be fighting more robots, but I guess they got outside heroes to play the villains this time. You recognize him?"

Next to him, Tokoyami shakes his head. "Never seen him before."

"Seriously?" Spidey demands from no one in particular as he clings to the side of the alley wall. "Can't I get just **one morning** without someone trying to kill me?" He shoots a webline off panel.

On the next page, Bakugou roars and throws out another explosion. "DIE!" The webcrawler swings away as the alley wall dissolves.

"I've got him!" Cellophane throws his sticky tape after Spidey, managing to tag the older hero's foot.

"Woah!" Surprised, Spider-Man lets go of his webline and lands on the wall of a building across the street. _Who are these kids?!_ he thinks. _Doesn't sound like they're speaking English..._ He reaches down and, with some effort, rips the tape apart. He glances down and sees a bit of it still stuck to his hand. "Huh. Not bad." He aims. "But try **this** on for size!"

Tokoyami leaps back as the webline slams into Cellophane, who grunts in surprise as he's thrown back. He finds himself webbed to the building behind him. "Crap! What **is** this stuff?!"

"Stand STILL, you %+$%+*#!" Bakugou flings out another series of explosions.

On the next page, Spider-Man dodges and weaves through the barrage of explosions, guided by his extraordinary senses. "That's - _really_ \- not - gonna - work - chief!" He finishes by leaping clear away from the facade he's on as Bakugou's last detonation cracks it apart.

Only to be surprised in mid-air as a long tongue wraps around his chest. "- huh?!"

Tsuyu clings to the roof of a nearby building on all fours. "Nice, Tsu!" Uraraka pumps her fist. Behind the two girls and Tentacole, Deku stares down at the carnage in front of them, a large sweatdrop on his face. He thinks, _should've known Mineta wouldn't be able to keep Kacchan in check..._

"Gotcha!" The frog girl tosses her head to the side, flinging Spider-Man further down the block.

"Woah!" The webhead tumbles through the air, desperately scanning for someplace to catch onto to and stop his fall -

\- when a gigantic hand suddenly closes around him.

"Got your back, Spidey!" On the next page, a gigantic Ms. Marvel grins down at him and flashes him a thumbs-up as she steps out from behind a building. The text box next to her reads: _MS. MARVEL! Real name: Kamala Khan! Occupation: high school student/total geek! Quirk: She can grow and stretch her body to almost any shape or size! She can even look like other people, if she concentrates!_

"Ms. Marvel?..." Spider-Man asks weakly from her palm.

"Are we teaming up again? Where are - ohmigod, are we **in Japan?!** We're **in Japan!** " The girl's eyes goggle as she scans the unfamiliar cityscape. "Dude! I **have** to **go shopping!** Where's the nearest **anime store?!** Or doujin shop. I'm not picky -"

She reels back as an explosion clips the top of her head. "- ow."

"Focus, Ms. M!" Spider-Man leaps out of her hand and swings away on a webline, his eyes narrowed. "I'm getting **real sick** of that grenade kid..."

Down in the street, Tokoyami rushes down the block, wings of shadow spreading from his back. "I've got the big one!" the bird-headed student shouts. "Everyone else, focus on the one with the spider quirk!" Behind him, Mineta tries to pull the webbing off of Cellophane.

"Dammit, don't order me aro - !" Bakugou stops mid-sentence as Spider-Man's web slams into him, covering him from the belly button down. "Oh, you did **not** just -"

"Here he comes," Tentacole says quietly.

"Uraraka." Tsuyu glances over to the other girl. "Lighten me up, could you?"

"On it!" Uraraka slaps Tsuyu's back. The frog girl launches herself into the air and streaks towards Spider-Man like a missile.

Meanwhile, Deku stares into the distance. _That giant girl,_ he thinks. _Something doesn't feel right here..._

"Woah!" Spider-Man lets go of his web early and dives beneath Tsuyu as she hurdles by. She turns her head and lashes out at him with her tongue. He twists around in mid-air, barely managing to dodge before firing off another webline. _So - I guess that girl's a frog or something? Because that's a thing?_ he thinks. _Who the heck_ _ **are**_ _these kids? And where -_ "CRAP!" A beam of light suddenly lances through his webbing, breaking the line.

"Not to worry, _mes amis!_ " Down on the street, Yuuga Aoyama strikes a dramatic pose. "The calvary has arrived!"

"Sorry we're late!" Kirishima pants as he and four other students - Kaminari/Chargebolt, Sugar Man, Jirou, and Yaoyorozu - catch up to their flamboyant classmate. "We ran into some robots a few blocks down -"

"Oh, **come on!** How many more of you are there?!" Spider-Man tumbles down onto the rooftop across the street from Deku's team, flipping over before catching himself against a skylight. Unfortunately, his hand goes straight through the fake glass, entangling him in the metal ribs. In the distance behind him, Ms. Marvel locks hands with Tokoyami's immense shadow form, her teeth gritted.

On the other rooftop, Uraraka glances over to see Deku grabbing onto a ladder. "Hey, where're you going?!"

"I'm gonna go check something out! I'll be right back!" Deku slides down the fire escape.

"Gimme a boost up there, Satou!" Kirishima grins, his skin hardening into armor.

His larger classmate nods and, with one hand, tosses Kirishima high into the sky. Spider-Man looks up to see Kirishima arc through the air and hurdle towards him, his hands raised. "HERE IT COMES!" the student yells.

Then something collides with him mid-air, knocking him completely off-course. "Oof! - AGGGHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF -"

"Get 'im, Tippie!" a voice shouts from off panel.

Kirishima tears off the thing that's latched onto his face - and finds himself staring dumbly at the small furry creature in his hands, a pink ribbon wrapped around her neck. "Buh - a **squirrel?!** What -"

"- ow." He lands on top of Bakugou, sticking to the webbing on him. The squirrel takes advantage of the moment to bound free of his hands and rush away.

"OH THAT IS IT!" Bakugou growls, sparks flying from his hands.

Kirishima can see where this is going. "Aww, dude. Don't do -"

Spider-Man looks over to see Squirrel Girl land on the rooftop next to him. "Oh, it's _you_ ," she says, looking disappointed. Behind her, a huge fireball lights up the block as Bakugou blows himself free of the webbing. (The explosion tosses Kirishima into the air in a direction away from the American heroes, a resigned expression on his face.) A caption box reads: _SQUIRREL GIRL! Real name: Doreen Green! Occupation: College student! Quirk: Talks to squirrels! Eats nuts and kicks butts! Knows SQL!_

"Oh, hey." Spidey extracts himself from the skylight and gets to his feet. "What's up?"

"Struck by lightning. Don't know where I am. You?"

"Same. Tuesdays, am I right?"

Behind the two American heroes, Tsuyu grabs Kirishima out of the air with her tongue as she alights on a building a little further down the block.

Down on the ground, Bakugou pulls himself free of the last of the webbing. He raises his hands. "POUR IT ON!"

On a splash page, Spider-Man and Squirrel Girl leap around the next wave of explosions, effortlessly dodging both Bakugou's fire and Aoyama's beams as they bound across the rooftops. "Any clue who these kids are?" she asks.

"Nope." Spidey takes a second to strafe the street with his web-shooters.

"Look - don't take this personally, okay? But I - like - usually try to avoid teaming up with you?" Squirrel Girl dodges Tsuyu as the frog girl leaps at her. "I just feel like we cover too much of the same ground. What with the whole **animal-themed superpowers** thing, you know?"

"I dunno. Might be a franchise opportunity there." Spider-Man vaults over Kirishima as he throws a punch, then turns to fire a webline after Tsuyu. A helpful caption box at the bottom of the page reads: _FUN FACT! Mid-battle banter is Spidey's preferred way to keep himself from freaking out in combat! (Doreen's just cool like that, tho.)_ "Like - the Petting Zoo of Justice, or something."

Squirrel Girl knocks the redheaded student to the side with a flick of her tail, then leaps across the street with Spidey to dodge another blast. "Dude. I don't know where they have **spiders** in their petting zoos - but if you grew up there, that explains **so** much - WOAH."

On the next page, a massive wave of ice suddenly engulfs half of the block.

Towards the top of the formation, Spider-Man clings to the bottom of a large icicle. "So... we should probably start paying attention now."

"Yeah..." Doreen pulls her tail free of the ice.

Back down on the street, Todoroki lowers his hand, his brow knitted. "Hrm..."

"WATCH IT, DUMB+**!" Bakugou calls from down the street, his fist raised. "YOU NEARLY GOT THE REST OF US WITH THAT ATTACK!"

Todoroki gives him an annoyed glare. "Sorry..."

Two hands suddenly wrap around Todoroki's head gently from behind. "Hey! Don't touch m.." His eyes roll back. "..." He passes out.

"Woah... Todoroki..." Sugar Man steps back, his eyes wide. Kaminari's jaw drops. Even Aoyoma looks a little perturbed behind his constant bishie sparkle. (In the background, Jirou and Yaoyorozu look on with dismay, trapped beneath Spider-Man's webbing.)

"My, my, my..." a voice drawls from off panel. "Ain't this just a kick an' a half..."

The pale woman in front of them smiles as she examines her hands, one producing flame, the other frost. "Fire **and** ice? Like Bobby and Pyro at the same time... not too shabby at all, sugah." The caption box beneath her reads: _ROGUE! Real name: Anna Marie D'Ancanto! Occupation: Mutant rights activist / X-Man / unrepentant freeloader! Quirk: Can absorb other people's powers with a single touch! Hot Southern accent! Rockin' highlights!_ "So... who's next?"

Up above, Spidey glances down as he and Squirrel Girl slide down the ice flow. "Oh, hey, is that Rogue?"

"I guess? - GAH."

Another explosion from Bakugou rips through the ice beneath them, throwing them both in opposite directions. "Not again -" Spider-Man groans as he plummets towards the ground.

"WHAT ON **EARTH** IS GOING ON HERE?!" Iida bellows as he rushes up the street. "I DEMAND THAT YOU STOP - ACK!" He flings himself out of the way as a large fragment of ice slams into the ground.

"Oh, boy..." Uraraka winces and glances over at Tentacole. "We better get down there..."

In a nearby back alley, Spider-Man grabs hold of a fire escape, twisting the railing in his hand but stopping his fall. "Ow. Again." He rubs his shoulder and starts to climb up -

"HEY!"

Spidey looks down and sees Deku standing below him. _Remember_ , the boy thinks. _They all seem to be speaking English. So -_ "You no speak Japanese?"

"Like - three or four words, maybe!" Spidey shouts back.

"Are you not a part of the training exercise?"

"The **what?!** "

"I thought so." Deku shakes his head. "Listen - I'll try and calm everyone! Just don't hurt any of my friends, okay?"

"Buddy, I don't want to hurt _anyone!_ " Spider-Man fires off another webline. "I just want to get through the next ten minutes without getting blown up, all right?!"

Across the street, Bakugou skids across the asphalt on his back, his hands spitting sparks. Before he can fire again, Squirrel Girl lands on his chest knees first, two of Mineta's balls stuck to her back. She punches him in the head. "WHAT - IS - WRONG - WITH - YOU -" she shouts.

(In the distance behind her, Iida spins in the air as he aims an axe kick down at Rogue.)

In the next panel, Squirrel Girl slams her fist into the teen again and again. "DON'T - BLOW - UP - OTHER - PEOPLE - YOU - JUST - MET -" Overwhelmed, Bakugou weakly raises a hand. Caught up in the moment, she fails to notice Mineta as he carefully sneaks up behind her, a sticky ball in hand.

(Rogue catches Iida's kick in midair with a blast of ice. She looks down at the next student - Uraraka, who cringes slightly but raises her fists.)

"I - MEAN - WHO - EVEN - DOES - THAT -"

Behind Squirrel Girl, Mineta suddenly looks up, the blood draining from his face.

("Nah," Rogue mutters. She turns and walks away from Uraraka. "I ain't gonna do that, hon.")

"WERE - YOU - RAISED - IN - A - **BARN** \- OR - SOMETHING?!"

Mineta rears back as a squirrel-shaped blur tackles him. A (small) caption box in the corner of the panel reads: _Tippie Toe! Occupation: Doreen's best friend / squirrel! Quirk: Literally just a squirrel!_

"You... %!#*%..." Bakugou mutters. His hand goes limp and drops to the ground.

("Hey!" Uraraka indignantly chases after Rogue off panel. "Come back here!")

"Hey - um, S.G.?" Spider-Man appears at the top of the panel, hanging upside down on a web line. "I think you got him..."

"YEAH I KNOW OKAY?!" Squirrel Girl shouts up at him.

"Okay, okay! Geez!" Spider-Man holds out a hand. "Listen, I found this one kid who speaks English. He says he's gonna -" Behind them, Mineta flails his arms, mostly hidden under a squirrel-shaped blur.

A sudden flash of light illuminates the battlefield. "ENOUGH," a voice booms down from the heavens.

Spider-Man and Squirrel Girl look up. "Ooh," they say in unison.

"Oh, wow." On the next page, Kamala looks up, the claws of Tokoyami's shadow around her neck. "Hey - um, bird dude? Can we get a time out? You guys are - like - seriously outclassed. Trust me."

Up above, lightning flashes in the sky as the Goddess of Thunder, gleaming hammer in hand, descends towards the ground. "I HAVE NO INTEREST IN **FIGHTING CHILDREN,** " she rumbles. The caption box below her reads: _The MIGHTY THOR! Real name: Jane Foster! Occupation: Doctor of medicine / interdimensional diplomat! Quirk: Wields the hammer Mjolnir, which grants her powers beyond the ken of mortals! (Also: a near-professional-level scrapbooker. Seriously. Why doesn't anyone ever ask about that?)_ "COME. LET US **PARLEY.** "

On the next page, a familiar laugh rings out. "Ha HA HA! Well said, madam!"

Deku looks up, a relieved smile on his face. "All Might!"

"Class 1-A, **at ease!** " The hero poses on one of the few undamaged buildings, his teeth gleaming. He's backed by an expressionless Cementoss and a somewhat cross-looking Eraserhead, who glares down at the street. "Clearly, this exercise has taken an unexpected turn! (I mean, you barely even found half of the robots...)"

Down on the street, the students - the ones still on their feet, at least - and the American heroes stare up at him. Most of the buildings are either damaged or burning, if not both. Jirou, Yaoyoruzu, and Aoyama are all webbed-down to the street. Kaminari, Tentacole, and Sugar Man are partially encased in ice. Uraraka freezes in place in a fighting stance next to Rogue (who has her hands raised as if to ward the girl off.) Iida's trying to pull his foot free of the ice column. Bakugou and Todoroki are still out cold. A hapless Tsuyu dangles upside-down from another web. Kirishima's knocked out cold against an alley wall. Mineta lies helpless beneath Tippie Toe's savage claws.

Spider-Man's hands suddenly slip off his webbing as Eraserhead unintentionally cancels out his powers. "Woah, hey -"

He lands on the ground behind Squirrel Girl. "- ow! Man, not cool!"

* * *

On the next page, the teachers and the American heroes stand in a circle. Ms. Marvel has returned to her normal size. Deku hovers anxiously at the edge of the circle, a few steps behind All Might. Down the street, Bakugou glowers as Recovery Girl attends to his heavily bruised face. "Not to worry!" All Might says. "This sort of **misunderstanding** is inevitable when heroes first meet! Why, I remember the first time I ran into Endeavor in the field -"

" _Ahem._ " Eraserhead coughs.

"- Ah. But that said, I must admit that we bear some concerns. It seems that none of you are registered as official heroes in our nation's database. In addition, it is no small matter that you gained access to our campus without authorization."

"Campus?" Squirrel Girl raises her eyebrows. "This is a **school?** "

"Indeed!" All Might replies. "You stand upon the hallowed grounds of Japan's greatest hero academy!"

"Look, Mr. All Might, sir -" Spider-Man intejects. "None of us know where we are or what we're doing here, I promise. We literally all just got **lightning-ed** here... wait, that wasn't you, right?" He glances at Thor.

"T'was not my doing, friend arachnid," Thor rumbles. "I am as **lost** as the rest of you. So swears **Thor.** "

"So none of us _chose_ to be here," Spider-Man continues. "I promise, we didn't **intend** to break any laws. We've all been **abducted** somehow."

"Hmmmm!" All Might strokes his chin. "Strange, if true!"

"Well, there's one thing that might help clear this up..." Spider-Man glances at the other American heroes. "Do any of you have your Avengers card on you? Think mine's in the other costume."

"Oh! Yeah!" Ms. Marvel hands him a credit-card-sized object bearing a large A on its cover.

"Thanks, Ms. Marvel -"

"Wait - did you say **Ms. Marvel?!** " Deku bursts out. He stares at the girl. " **You're** Kamala Khan?!"

"Wait, how do you know my -" Kamala catches herself. "Um, I mean - who? What's this Kamala you speak of? Some new... J-Pop band or... something?..." She shifts her eyes.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Deku instinctively cringes and bows repeatedly. "Please forgive my interruption!"

"Nonsense, my boy!" All Might waves his hand. "If you have something to contribute -"

"It's just... you can't be her. I mean, that's **impossible.** " The boy stares at the American heroes, Kamala in particular. " **You** ** _died_** **hundreds of years ago!** "

* * *

 **Letters Column!**

 ** _Q: Dear author guy - what is up with the way this story is written? Why's everything in the present tense? What's with all the random bold text in dialogue? And what's with all this talk of pages and panels? It's weird._**

 _I'm glad you ask, hypothetical reader! As an experiment, I've decided to write this story_ _ **as if an omniscient narrator is describing a comic book / manga he/she/it's reading to the audience.**_ _That includes the use of_ _ **bold text**_ _in dialogue for emphasis... just like traditional comic book lettering! It's a different style than I'm used to, but it's been a lot of fun so far! I hope it's enjoyable for you too!_

 _Next time: Exposition, omakes, and mysterious shadowy figures who will in no way be important later! Look forward to it!_


	2. Issue 2

**Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!**

 **Issue 2: Enter the Final Two Avengers! A Voice Speaks From The Shadows!**

* * *

Inside the main building of U.A. High, All Might leads the American heroes down the maze of corridors. Cementoss and Eraserhead bring up the rear. Deku wanders beside the line of adults, the only member of Class 1-A to tag along. "So, Mister... Man-Spider, was it?" All Might asks.

"Eh, close enough." Spider-Man studies the Avengers card. A holographic display hovers above the card's surface, projected from a small lens set in its back.

"You'll have to explain to me why exactly it was so important we come this way," All Might says.

"A school for kids with powers, huh?" Rogue mutters in the background. "Sounds familiar..."

(At the back of the line, Ms. Marvel whispers to Squirrel Girl, "Hey, have we met before? I feel like we've met before."

"Yeah... Avengers Thanksgiving party, maybe?"

"Couldn't make it. School night."

"Right, right...")

"Well... this card doubles as a transponder." Two bright yellow pins glow on Spider-Man's holomap. "I can't raise the mansion, but I **am** picking up two signals close by. If they belong to other people from - uh - **whenever** we are, we should probably gather 'em up before any more **misunderstandings** happen. Right?"

("Maybe the Hoboken dimensional rift last month?" Ms. M asks.

"What? I don't even remember _hearing_ about that one."

"Pffh," the New Jersey-dwelling heroine grouses. "Typical...")

"I suppose..." All Might rumbles. "But it seems unlikely they would also land in the middle of a training exercise... provided they weren't actually being **attacked** , would you not vouch for your teammates' judgment?"

"It... uh... _depends._ " Spidey scratches the back of his head awkwardly. "On context."

"I see..."

("Oh!" Squirrel Girl snaps her fingers. "I know - that Port Authority thing back in March! With the Mindless Ones and the pig demons?"

Ms. Marvel shakes her head. "Nearly made it. I got stuck in the tunnel."

"Oh. Yeah, traffic in the Lincoln is the _worst_..."

"Eh-heh... actually..." Ms. Marvel sweatdrops. "I mean, I really **got stuck** in the tunnel. There was this one guy with a magical whatsis, and my powers freaked out...")

"Annnnnd this is a classroom, isn't it." Spider-Man stops by the incredibly large door to Classroom 1-B.

"I don't hear any screaming, at least..." Eraserhead mutters.

Spider-Man reaches out and turns the door handle. _Please don't be Deadpool,_ he thinks. _Please don't be Deadpool..._

On the next page, he opens the door. He and All Might peer in to see...

"... thus, in the end, Akutagawa leaves us to question if there even **is** an objective solution to the mystery - or, indeed, an objective **reality** that our senses can perceive," a muscular figure covered in blue fur hanging upside-down from the ceiling says as he peers into a book. He wears a pinstriped waistcoat and a bow tie. Class 1-B doesn't seem particularly enthused by the lecture, but they're not falling asleep either. The text box in the panel reads: _BEAST! Real name: Henry "Hank" McCoy! Occupation: Scientist / professor at the Xavier Institute! Quirk: Mind of a scholar, body of a gorilla/wolf/cat/blue... thing! (Ask about his PhD.!)_ "In that respect, the author was remarkably prescient of advancements in quantum mechanics that would take place later in the same decade. Dr. Werner Heisenberg would not introduce his landmark Uncertainty Principle until 1927, five years after -"

"... uh... Beast?" Spider-Man asks weakly.

"Ah! Spider-Man!" Beast flips down from the ceiling and removes his reading glasses. "Excellent timing! For next time, class, I would recommend you read Akutagawa's _Hell Screen_ , as well as Richard Feynman's introduction to quantum behavior..."

"Uh, Professor McCoy?" Class 1-B's Itsuka Kendou asks from off-panel. "Could you just go over that bit about modernism again?"

On the next page, Beast emerges from the classroom. "So... I guess you just wound up here and... just decided to start teaching a class?" Spider-Man asks.

Beast shrugs. "Well, it seemed like the thing to do..."

"... so you're trying really hard not to think about the whole 'it's-the-future-and-I'm-dead' thing, huh?" Squirrel Girl asks Kamala in the foreground.

"Maaaaaaybe." Ms. Marvel twiddles her fingers.

Doreen nods sympathetically. "Dude. Time travel. Don't even get me started..."

"Well... um... if it helps..." Deku offers, breaking into the conversation. "I don't actually know **when** or **how** you died. There was just a little about you in this history book I read once." He thinks of a faded photograph of an older (as in, mid-sixties) Kamala, dressed in a Captain Marvel-style military uniform. "It just said that you started out under the name Ms. Marvel. And that you led the Posthuman Alliance in the defense of the New California Republic during the Age of Villains. That didn't turn out so great, so I kinda presumed..."

"Uh, dude - spoilers?" Squirrel Girl raises an eyebrow.

"Age of wha?" Kamala's eyes go wide.

"S-sorry! Sorry!" Deku's face goes red. "This situation - it's really kind of new to me..."

"No, no. It's okay, I get it," Squirrel Girl says. "You're just trying to help..."

"Okay, so that leaves just one more signal." Spider-Man studies the holomap again. "This one's further away, though... at least a mile or two."

Eraserhead peers at the map. "Oh, yeah. I know where that is."

"Where?" Spider-Man asks.

"It's the closest bar to campus."

"Oh boy..." Spidey rubs the back of his head. "Bet I know where this is going..."

* * *

"Hey, sweetheart! Can I get another double over here?" On the next page, we see the one and only Tony Stark, a.k.a. Iron Man, sitting at a bar called BIGGS' BREWERY. He's dressed in full armor, minus the helmet, which he's put down on the stool next to him. The text box over him reads: _IRON MAN! Real name: Anthony "Tony" Stark! Occupation: Industrialist / inventor! Quirk: None! Just your perfectly average cyborg genius billionaire playboy philanthropist!_

Over by the bar's entrance, Spider-Man narrows his eyes. "... seriously, Tony?" Eraserhead and Snipe stand by the door.

"Hey, look, I just got randomly warped hundreds of years into the future - or **a** future, anyway. You know, the whole multiverse thing, who even knows." Tony finishes off the shot in his hand. "If alcohol isn't the logical answer to that, what is?"

"That's... not how logic works," Eraserhead mutters.

"How do you know we're in the future?" Spider-Man asks.

"Moogled the date." Tony gestures to his helmet. "I've had JARVIS parsing the local nets ever since I got here. And guess what? Everything's wrong."

"What do you mean wrong?" Spidey tilts his head.

"It's **wrong.** It's **off.** It doesn't make any sense."

"Why? Because more people seem to have powers here?" Spider-Man eyes the bartender levitating a bottle of vodka over to her hand.

"Like three-quarters of the global population. But no, that I buy. What I don't is -" Iron Man raises a single finger. "Bullet point **one.** Their tech. It's barely more advanced than what we've got in our day. No faster-than-light travel. Like - at all. Even though Richards and I reverse-engineered that Chituari ship for the government ages ago."

Spider-Man gives in and takes a seat. "Well, it's not like you could **completely** replicate it, right?"

"It's a work-in-progress. Which leads to bullet point **two** \- _domo arigatou gozaimasu_ ," Tony says to the bartender as she drops off the next shot. "No aliens. No Chitauri, no Asgardians, no Skrull invasions every other week. No SHIELD or SWORD. It's all been wiped from the historical record. As far as everyone here is concerned, first contact is still science fiction."

"Huh. You're right. That _is_ weird..." Spider-Man scratches his neck. "Look, Tony - we should get back and compare notes with the others. They'll want to know about all of this."

"Oh, right. I saw the card signals. Who else we got?" Tony asks.

"Uh... Thor - goddess, not Odinson."

"Uh-huh."

"Ms. Marvel. Two X-Men..."

"Logan?"

"Nah, Hank and Rogue."

"Huh. Weird. Guy usually shows up everywhere."

"Yeah, I don't know when he finds time to sleep... then there's you, me and..." Spider-Man coughs. "... doreen..."

Tony tilts his head. "Sorry, come again? I didn't hear that."

 _Yeah, better just rip off the band-aid,_ Spidey thinks. "Uh... Squirrel Girl."

"Oh, God. _She's_ here?" Tony rolls his eyes. "Okay, I was wrong. I'm **clearly** not drunk enough for this. Hey, 'cuse me - can I get a bottle to go? Gin, whiskey, whatever you got? Can I do that here?"

"No," the bartender says bluntly. "And about your credit card, sir - the computer's telling me that this brand hasn't been active for over two hundred years."

Tony raises an eyebrow. "Someone actually **programmed** it to say that?"

Spider-Man glances at the card. "Oof. So much for American Express, huh?"

"Yeahhh, about that..." Tony slouches a little. "That... kinda leads into the _other_ reason I'm drinking."

* * *

Later, back in the school, a holographic globe pops up in the middle of a darkened auditorium. It starts out as colored outlines, then fills in with satellite imagery. The map is currently focused on North America, which - from the looks of things - is mostly a desolate wasteland, pockmarked with large craters and mostly reduced to dusty plains. The Florida Peninsula has been mostly swallowed by the ocean, with the exception of the very tip, around Miami and the Keys. Certain points of interest - CHICAGO, NEW BABYLON, ELECTROVILLE, OSBORN CITY - are marked in blue. A large area of land extending between the Sierra Nevada and Rocky Mountains (including the present-day states of Nevada and Utah, as well as bits of California, Oregon, Idaho, Colorado, and Arizona) has been marked off in dark red.

"Oh, Lord," Rogue mutters from somewhere else in the room.

"Geez. Is the city even there anymore?" Ms. Marvel asks in a small voice. "I don't even see Long Island..."

In a wider shot, we see all of the American heroes, the teachers, and Deku standing around the hologlobe. The auditorium appears to be a classroom of some sort.

"The era where Quirks - or superpowers, if you prefer - first appeared was one marked by turbulance and strife," All Might says. "While it produced great heroes, it also created great chaos. Eventually, human civilization itself nearly collapsed entirely. America, the very birthplace of heroism, was hit hardest of all. Our records are fragmentary, but it appears powerful bands of villains eventually overcame the heroes there and took control, slaughtering any who would stand in their way. We call this the so-called Age of Villains.

"While that period of darkness has since come to an end, rebuilding in that part of the world has been slow..." All Might strokes his chin. "I myself carry the blood of refugees who took shelter here in Japan during that time. I patterned my image and the name of my attacks in their honor, and in memory of that land which once held such promise..."

"So what's that red blob over in the west?" Spider-Man asks.

"A **stain** upon our world," All Might says bluntly. "The last remaining Villain State. The so-called Nation of **Apocalypse.** A place of tyranny and unimaginable despair..."

"Oh, dear." Beast adjusts his glasses. "That sounds distressingly familiar."

"JARVIS pulled some info on the place from the news sites," Iron Man says. "Nice place. Imagine North Korea meets Latveria times a thousand. Ruler's a question mark - nobody's even knows what _gender_ the guy is, much less what they look like. Goes by all sorts of different names. Lord Crimson, the Queen of Pain, the Burning Eye - y'know, all the usual Dark Lord Sauron stuff."

"To outsiders, at least," All Might says. "The terrified people they rule merely call them _God._ I went there once when I was young, to try and free those I could... I didn't get far. Their military contains individuals with some astonishingly powerful Quirks. That's how they've managed to remain in power all these years, in spite of our best efforts..."

"Look, this sounds... y'know... just _amazing_ and all..." Spider-Man folds his arms. "But why don't we backtrack for a second here? All of us from the past - we all got here the same way, right? Hit by lightning that was probably - like - magic or something?"

There's a general murmur of assent. "Regardless of **how** we arrived here," Thor says, "it seems obvious that we seven in particular were **chosen** , or perhaps **targeted.** For what **purpose** \- **that** is the question."

"Unless it's just Zeus messing with us again," Iron Man says. "Just throwing that out there."

"Nah." Squirrel Girl eyes the big red blotch on the map. "Doesn't feel right. 'Sides, Herc promised he'd make him stop."

("Still kinda surprised Deadpool didn't turn up here, though," Kamala mutters.

"Shh!" Doreen hisses back. "He'll _hear you!_ ")

Deku glances over at All Might. He notices a small bit of steam coming off the elder hero's elbow. "Um... All Might?" He motions to the steam.

"Ah!" All Might claps his hands. "You'll all have to excuse me. I just remembered I have something urgent I must attend to. If you'd just stay here with the other faculty, I'm sure the principal will arrive any moment now."

With that, All Might rushes out of the room.

* * *

In a men's locker room some distance away, All Might rushes in just as the last of his heroic form dissipates. _That was close!_ he thinks. _Good thing Midoriya was there, or I might have forgotten entirely!_

He goes to the sink and washes his emaciated form's face. _These other heroes, though..._ he thinks. _Could they really be who they say they are? Time travel... I've heard rumors of such things. But I always thought they were just stories!..._

He looks up at the mirror - and sees a shadowy figure standing behind him.

He quickly turns around. "YOU?!" But there's no one there. When he looks back to the mirror, the figure is gone.

All Might thinks for a moment. He pulls out his cell phone and dials. "Nedzu, sir," he says. "I'm sorry to bother you, but you said to contact you immediately if I ever saw **him** again."

"Oh, dear," the principal replies. "The **Watcher?** Are you certain?"

"It was him." All Might runs his hand through his hair. "This situation with the past heroes... if **he's** involved, it must be serious beyond anything we can imagine..."

* * *

Elsewhere. An immense city stretches out before us, neon lights and marquees mixed with industrial smokestacks and abattoirs. (A sample of some of the casino signs - DAILY SPECIAL: 35% OFF ALL PIT SLAVES! _NEED CASH? ASK ABOUT OUR U-BET-UR-LIFE PROGRAM!_ REVEREND FLAGG'S PALACE. _LIVE - WORK - DIE._ ) _Lost Vegas,_ a caption box reads. _Capital of the Nation of Apocalypse._

In a dark chamber deep beneath the city, a frail old man with a cybernetic eye hurries through vast empty halls of marble and iron. He wears a plain brown robe, and his hair was once red, though long-since grayed. He enters a darkened room and immediately prostrates himself. "You called, Sire?" he wheezes.

A large screen lights up on one wall. It displays a satellite image. "WORM," a voice from off panel says. "WHAT IS THIS PLACE?"

The servant straightens up. "Ah... I believe that is U.A., Sire. A famed Japanese military academy, specializing in the training of so-called heroes."

"DEPLOY THE LEFTOVER **TRASK STOCK** THERE," the voice says. "SET THEM TO **REVERT** TO THEIR ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING UPON ARRIVAL. AND RECALL THE **VALKYRIES** FROM THE BORDER."

"At once, Sire."

"AFTER THAT, KILL YOURSELF."

"Of course, Sire," the old man says, without a hint of emotion. "By what means?"

"THE INCINERATOR SHOULD SUFFICE."

"As you command, Lord." The old man turns to leave, then hesistates. "If I may, my Lord... is it **him** at last? Is the **Enemy** finally on the move?"

"WE SHALL SEE."

That is all the old man's willing to risk. There are so many things worse than death, after all, and the old man is far too familiar with many of them. He bows again, then scurries away. _At least it's just the incinerator this time,_ he thinks. _I must have served well..._

* * *

 **OMAKE / LETTERS COLUMN!**

The caption box above the first strip reads: _Q: Hey, Spidey. How does it feel to be in charge of Team Marvel?_

Spider-Man raises an eyebrow. "I'm **in charge?** Since when?"

"Thou **doest** have the most combat experience out of all us here," Thor says. "And with the exception of Stark, thou art the **most senior Avenger** present."

"... huh. I guess." Spider-Man rubs his head as Thor leaves the panel. "I dunno. I really don't see it that way. I mean, it's not like the Avengers don't have a pretty flat org chart to begin with. Sure, Cap can order everyone around and all, but that's just because he's Cap. And we usually only do what Tony says because he pays for everything.

"But I guess Tony's been pretty hands-off recently. (Between you and me, I dunno how he and Pepper are doing these days.) So as long as he's not pulling rank... and if by leader you mean 'guy who tries to keep everyone on track and in one piece'... I **guess** I can do that? Probably? Maybe?... help?..."

* * *

The top of the second strip reads: _Dear All Might - you and the other U.A. teachers seem to be awfully trusting of these unregistered heroes who just showed up out of nowhere on your doorstep. Doesn't this whole 'time travel' thing strike you as a little farfetched?_

"Indeed!" All Might replies, back in his heroic form. "Rest assured, we're quite aware that this very well might be some sort of villainous plot! Even if these heroes **truly believe** their story, they might still prove to be clones! Or robots! Or robot clones! One cannot be too careful!

" **However** \- it is _also_ true that - aside from their unauthorized appearence on school grounds and skimping on a certain bar tab - these strange heroes have broken none of our laws! Even their actions against Class 1-A could reasonably fit within the bounds of self-defense! So until they show their hand, whatever that might be, us teachers have resolved to let things play out... all while keeping a _very_ close eye on them all, of course!

"Err... no offense," he finishes, as Iron Man wanders into the panel, a gin and tonic in hand.

"Eh, don't worry about it," Tony says. "That's pretty much what I'd be thinking, too."

* * *

The third strip begins: _Q: Ms. Marvel - all things considered, you seem to be handling this whole dead-in-the-future America's-totally-destroyed-now thing pretty well._

"Is that one it looks like?" Ms. Marvel asks. "Ha **HA** oh god it's all a lie I am still so totally freaking out on the inside. I mean, one second I'm on patrol in Jersey after school, same as normal. The next, I'm in, like, the _post_ -post-apocalyptic future? In a completely different country? And everyone I know is dead and Jersey's half-flooded and oh God my parents are totally gonna kill me if I'm home too late? And I guess I'm in a history book and all, which is kind of cool, but it's because I was in a frelling **war?** On the **losing** side, too, I guess?...

"And then there's the whole time travel thing, which I haven't really done before... oh, man. What if this is one of those bad futures that happened because the seven of us were pulled out of time and weren't there to stop it? What if the only way to fix it is for me to go back in time and make sure I never went to the future in the first place? Only it all goes **wrong** and I end up in like **1940** or something and I have to wait until I catch up to my younger self and make her move like a step or two to the right or something... and that's great for **her** and all but I'm still like a **bajillion years old** and nobody recognizes me and I -"

"Dude! Dude. **Breathe.** " Squirrel Girl enters the panel and puts her arm around Ms. M's shoulders. "It's gonna be okay. Trust me. Nine times out of ten with this time travel biz, you wind up getting back - like - three minutes after you left. Tops. And even if this _is_ our future, whatever that means, ten to one there's something we can do to change it when we get back. (Then this'll just wind up being, like, Earth-four-billion-and-something on a wiki page somewhere.)"

Kamala takes a deep breath. "... if we do get back, can we hang out more?"

Doreen gives her a crooked smile. "I'll see what I can do."

* * *

The final strip begins: _Q: How are your classmates doing after the battle last issue, Deku? And what do you think of the Marvel heroes so far?_

"Oh, everyone's fine," Midoriya says. "Recovery Girl fixed Kacchan and everyone else up. I mean, not many of us got hurt, just webbed up or iced down. Nothing we wouldn't expect from our usual sparring sessions. I hear Todoroki is still unconscious, but Ms. Rogue said that he should be back on his feet in another hour or so, and that his powers should be back sometime later on tonight. (Not gonna lie, though... that power-draining Quirk's kinda scary...)

"As for the other heroes... um. I guess they seem all right? (Even if that guy in the power armor smells kinda like rubbing alcohol.) I haven't really had time to talk to them very much. Everyone's just been scrambling around, trying to figure out what's going on. The only reason I'm even here is because I offered to stick around after school in case they needed an extra translator for something... and it turns out Professor McCoy speaks Japanese anyway, and that woman with the hammer has some kind of auto-translator she can share with the others, so I haven't even had all that much to do...

"Combat-wise, they were definitely all pros, from what I could see." Deku scratches the back of his head. "I mean, it's pretty obvious in retrospect they were all trying their best not to really hurt any of us. (Except maybe Kacchan, but he kinda didn't give them a whole lot of choice.) In spite of that, we could barely touch them. Maybe if we'd been better organized and less scattered, we could've made a better showing... but I don't know.

"Otherwise, though, I have to admit, they seem a lot nicer and more reasonable than I would've expected. Given what that period of history was like and all." He smiles awkwardly. "Whatever's going on with this whole time travel thing, I'm sure there's a lot I can learn from them. Who knows! Maybe I'll even get to see them in action again!"

 _Careful what you wish for, kid... - ed._

 _Have questions for next issue's Letters Column? Leave them in the comments!_


	3. Issue 3

**Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!**

 **Issue 3: Welcome to U.A. High, Strangers! Unwanted visitors on campus!**

A new morning dawns over the U.A. campus. In the distance, the school bell rings.

Thor walks into the teacher's lounge, hammer naturally in hand. She finds Spider-Man there, sitting on a wall behind a holographic display that's being projected up from Iron Man's helmet, which lies by itself in the middle of the floor. Ectoplasm sits in a chair on the other side of a room, reading a book. Spidey raises a hand. "Morning, T. Where you been?"

"I required **rest,** " the Goddess of Thunder says. "Where are the others?"

"Well... Beast's off talking to that principal... rat... bear... person," Spider-Man says. "They've really hit it off, in case you couldn't tell last night. Rogue's out touring the campus. Doreen's in the library, trying to look up more stuff about that Apocalypse place... said something about that being a quote, obvious red flag, unquote. Tony's down in the school's labs with that Power Loader guy, trying to rig some kind of space-time-thingamajig to get us back home. He left me JARVIS here -" He motions to the helmet with his foot. "- so we could search them thar Intarwebs for anything about time travel that might match what we went through. (Big fat zero on that so far, by the way...)"

"I see," Thor says. "And what of **Ms. Marvel?** "

* * *

The next page cuts to Ms. Marvel, standing awkwardly in front of the chalkboard in Class 1-A's homeroom. "So... I guess I'll be sitting in with you guys for now?" She's wearing a standard U.A. school uniform, albeit with her mask and scarf worn over it. "Sorry about yesterday again. Guess we kinda got off on the wrong foot and all..."

Class 1-A reacts more or less the way one might expect. Todoroki doesn't say anything. Jirou looks bored and examines her nails. Bakugou just sneers and looks away, his feet on his desk. "Don't worry about it," Ojiro/Tail Man says, smiling. "It sounds like it was a confusing situation. Mistakes were clearly made on all sides."

"You were an honorable opponent," Tokoyami says, folding his arms across his chest. "I bear you no grudge."

Iida, standing on his feet, bows repeatedly. "ON BEHALF OF THE ENTIRETY OF CLASS 1-A, I MOST HUMBLY APOLOGIZE FOR OUR TERRIBLE CONDUCT! PLEASE FORGIVE US! HAD WE BUT KNOWN YOU WERE VISITORS -" From her seat nearby, Uraraka puts on an embarrassed smile, thinking, _Iida's being way too intense again..._

"That web stuff that spider guy had was amazing!" Sero says excitedly. "Does his body generate that stuff as part of his Quirk? Or is it a support item of some kind?"

"Okay, okay," Eraserhead says gruffly, slumped against the wall in his sleeping bag. "Let's keep the meet-and-greet down to ten or fifteen minutes. We've got a lot of ground to cover today."

Kamala fake-smiles. "Ha ha! Wow! (... so everyone else can see the teacher's in a sleeping bag, right? It's totally not just me?)"

In the back of the class, Mineta's doing the Gendo pose, complete with scary shiny eyes (in lieu of glasses.) "Hmm... yes..." he mutters. "Definitely has the exotic thing going for her... bonus points for the hair... bust's not as big as the blonde's or that Rogue woman's, though... all in all, a solid B."

Yaoyorozu reaches over and Dope Slaps Mineta. "Please feel free to use physical violence against Mineta if he makes you feel uncomfortable," she says coldly. "We're attempting to train him out of his disrespectful habits, but it's been slow going."

"Indeed," Mineta mumbles, his face smushed into his desk by the force of the blow. "T'is my cross to bear as a humble pervert..."

 _And_ _ **wow**_ _, okay, that just happened not cool wtf?_ Kamala thinks, her expression frozen somewhere between a smile and a horrified grimace. _Could this_ _ **get**_ _any more uncomfortable?_

"Oi," a voice speaks up from off-panel, right on cue. "Let me just make one thing clear..."

On the next page, Ms. Marvel turns to see Bakugou looming over her, his best delinquent sneer on his face. "You tell that **squirrel %!#*%** that I want a rematch. I don't care where you people are from. **No one** sucker-punches me and gets to live. Next time I see her, I'll **pulverize** her. Got it?"

"Uhm..." Kamala blinks, caught off-guard by the sudden over-the-top display of hostility. "... okay?"

"Good." Bakugou turns and stalks out of the classroom, dragging his backpack alongside him. "Someone tell Aizawa I'm in the can."

"What's _his_ problem?" Kamala asks as he leaves the room.

"S-sorry about that." Deku smiles nervously. "Kacchan - he's, well - it's **complicated** , you know?"

"No, it's not," Tsuyu says bluntly. "He's just a jerk."

(In the background, Uraraka tilts her head and thinks, _the fated battle between man and... squirrel?_ )

 _Wow,_ Kamala thinks. _And here I thought_ _ **my**_ _school was rough..._

* * *

Elsewhere, in a lavishly furnished office, Beast sips his tea. "So you really are a _naturally_ uplifted non-human?" he asks. "Fascinating! Even in my time, examples of such traits in other species was **incredibly** rare. The physiological changes you went through must have been extraordinary."

"Indeed! Though I at least came out of it with a significantly extended lifespan." Nedzu's constant cheerful smile is a bit creepy, given the topic of conversation. "Not all of said changes were natural, however. A number of human researchers felt compelled to... _explore_ the source of my Quirk."

"I see. I'm sorry to hear that." Hank nods gravely. "I myself have ended up on the wrong end of the scalpel a fair number of times, I'm afraid..."

An alarm suddenly goes off. "Warning," a computerized voice says. "School airspace compromised. Multiple incursions detected." A holographic display lights up over their heads.

"Trouble?" Beast asks.

"Oh, that's the defense system's early warning interface." The principal stirs another bit of sugar into his cup. "It's deliberately built to be over-sensitive. Most likely just an unscheduled flight or a bit of space debris... computer, please report size and number of radar contacts."

"Processing..." The computer pauses. "Total number of objects in the ten-to-twenty-meter-length range: five hundred and twelve."

The principal freezes. "... what."

* * *

Back in the classroom, Kamala leans against the teacher's desk. "So, wait..." Uraraka asks. "You really can't tell anyone your real name?"

"That's how the secret identity thing works, yeah." Kamala shrugs. "Back home, being a hero's kinda a... _legal gray area_ , let's call it. And besides, if the bad guys know who you are, that means they can target you and your family, you know?"

"Wow..." Uraraka blinks. She seems to be really taken aback by the idea. A few rows away, we see Deku hurriedly scribbling down notes.

"That's so _weird,_ " Kirishima says. "Here in Japan, being a hero's - like - the ultimate profession! The ones at the top of the field are celebrities! With paid endorsements, advertising contracts - you name it!"

"Not to mention, the police have been actively going out of their way to work with heroes for as long as anyone can remember." Yaoyorozu crosses her arms. "A world where heroes are treated like criminals... it's unimaginable."

"Huh." Kamala plays with the end of her hair. "That sounds... kinda nice, actually..."

The wall behind her - chalkboard and all - suddenly vanishes in a blast of red light, with a loud ZZZOORRRPPP.

Kamala - in what is probably not her best idea - slowly leans back and stares wide-eyed out of the sizable hole that's just been made in the building. "oh geez," she says in a small voice.

* * *

Elsewhere on campus, Rogue looks up in the sky. "Aww, hell." It's hard for her to keep the terror she's instinctively feeling off of her face. There's a lot of history for her here.

* * *

Across campus in the library, even Squirrel Girl - sitting beneath a window with _The Lonely Planet Guide to Apocalypse_ cracked open - looks a little dismayed. "Oooohkay that's a lot," she says.

* * *

Inside the teacher's lounge, Spider-Man stares in shock as his spidey-sense goes into overdrive. " **These** things?! But - they'd have to be **ancient** by now!"

* * *

Down in Power Loader's lab, Tony Stark looks up at a monitor screen, completely deadpan. "Great. Just what this day really needed."

* * *

In a big splash panel that takes up two pages, the first group of Sentinels land on the U.A. campus. Hundreds more hang in the sky above. "MUTATIONS DETECTED," the ten-meter-tall humanoid robot in the lead says. "BEGIN STERILIZATION PROCEDURES."

* * *

Alarms and alerts roar across U.A. as the entire campus locks itself down, walls popping up from the ground, steel shutters immediately closing down around every available window and surface. Elsewhere, anti-air missile launchers and point-defense turrets rise from out of rooftops. _"This is a Level-One Security Alert,"_ a computerized voice announces. _"Full campus lockdown is in effect. This is not a drill. All students are to immediately report to the closest shelter. All teachers to defensive positions. Repeat, this is a Level-One -"_

* * *

Back in the classroom, the lights have turned red. Eraserhead is out of his sleeping bag in an eyeblink and is already calmly barking out orders. "Everyone, stay rational. Grab your costumes and support gear, leave everything else -"

In the foreground, Kamala tears off the shirt of her school uniform - yes, _of course_ she wore her costume underneath. "I don't know a whole lot about these things," she says. "Thought they all got scrapped **years ago** , way before I got my powers -"

* * *

"Ceramic-alloy armor," Beast states. Much like the exterior of the school, the principal's office has transformed, a large central computer rising up out of the floor, holographic security feeds covering the walls. "Non-metallic polymer skeleton. Fires energy blasts from the hands. Concealed tasers in each fingertip. Thrusters in the feet. Flamethrowers and liquid nitrogen spray nozzles midway between the ankles and knees." He pauses. "I should add, I've seen them kill **millions** in my time."

Nedzu has lost his smile. "Point defenses online," he mutters, paws scrabbling at the controls. "Emergency beacons - where are the emergency beacons -"

* * *

"They're programmed to hunt down and kill mutants on sight!" Spider-Man bounces down a stairwell from wall to wall, Iron Man's helmet tucked beneath one arm, Ectoplasm just barely managing to keep up behind him. "So anyone who gets their powers naturally from their own DNA, instead of radiation or glowy clouds or whatever. Meaning **pretty much everybody here!** "

* * *

Outside, the mass of Sentinels on the ground continues to grow. A missile battery deploying from underneath a decorative shrub gets off a single salvo before a dozen energy blasts take it out. "NEUTRALIZING AUTOMATED DEFENSES," one of the Sentinels says.

Another platoon of the giant robots focuses their fire on the main building. Their energy beams slowly begin to carve through the armor plating. "LIFE SIGNS DETECTED WITHIN ENCLOSED SPACE. DEPLOY ADAPTIVE INFANTRY MODELS." Their chest plates crack open and unfold outward, revealing two smaller robots contained within each larger unit. The Infantry Sentinels each stand somewhere between two to three meters tall, and - in contrast to their large purple cousins - appear to be covered in gray semi-organic scales (resembling, in other words, the machines seen in the _Days of Future Past_ movie.) They activate and fly clear of their support gantries.

* * *

Bouncing around the corner of the stairwell, Spider-Man finds himself faced with Tony, charging up the stairs from the opposite direction. "Tony! Catch!" The webhead tosses Iron Man his helmet.

Tony catches it and puts it on. "Okay," he says. "Connecting to the security monitors..."

"Those are _supposed_ to be secure systems," Ectoplasm grouses.

"Lots of things are. Annnd we're up." A diagram of the main building appears on the screen inside Tony's helmet, a number of red arrows pointing to areas of stress. "Multiple breaches in progress. Doesn't look like the armor's going to hold out for much longer."

"Oh, boy. We better get outside. Buy the kids more time to evacuate." Spidey glances over to the sealed door on the landing next to them, then to Ectoplasm. "Can you get that open?"

"Mmh." The faculty member goes to a keypad by the door and starts to enter a code. "Don't suppose there's any point in mentioning that neither of you are officially licensed to use your powers in this country?"

"Yeah, yeah," Spidey shoots back. "How about we table that until _after_ we deal with the killer robots, okay?"

"Hey." Tony glances around. "Where's Thor?"

"Thor?" Spidey blinks. "She - um..."

* * *

Outside, a massive bolt of lightning falls from the heavens and strikes the ground, tossing a dozen Sentinels into the air like ninepins.

"ENOUGH," the Goddess of Thunder roars. She stands out in the open, twirling her hammer above her head, white-hot sparks flying through the air. "YOU COME HERE TO MURDER INNOCENTS? **HAVE AT THEE!** "

The Sentinels around her raise their hands. "ASGARDIAN SIGNATURE DETECTED," one rumbles. "DIRECTIVE: ELIMINATE."

* * *

Back inside the stairwell, Spidey and Iron Man pause, staring out the open door. "So," Tony says conversationally, "she's hot."

Spider-Man rubs his head. "Tony..."

"What? We're allowed to say that, right?" Iron Man tilts his head. "We're allowed to just - _observe_ certain objective facts. Us theoretically-spoken-for men? It's not like we're dead or something -"

"Tony!" Spider-Man cuts him off. "Tony, _get out there!_ "

"Fine, fine." A number of small missiles pop out from Iron Man's shoulders. "Yeesh. When did _you_ get to be such a workaholic, anyway -"

Iron Man pushes through the door and launches himself upwards. Spider-Man gives Ectoplasm a nod. They charge out onto the battlefield.

* * *

Somewhere underneath the campus, Midnight and Rogue run through a corridor deep underground. "This tunnel leads back to the main building," the Japanese heroine explains. "I hate to just run like this, but my Quirk isn't exactly useful against **machines.** "

"Yeah," Rogue says, "I know th' feeling..." _Dammit,_ she thinks bleakly, _what I wouldn't do t' have Danvers' powers back right now..._

* * *

Inside the main building, Class 1-A stands lined up in the hallway just down from their classroom, backs pressed to the wall. Some of them have partially got their costumes on, or at least whatever pieces modesty will allow. Standing towards the back of the line, Deku struggles to put on his boots, having already put on his neck brace. At the line's front, Eraserhead glances around the corner. "Everyone, quiet," he mutters. "We've got company. You -" He looks down at Ms. Marvel, who crouches on the ground next to him. "Take a look. Anything you can tell me about these things?"

Ms. Marvel peeks around the corner. She sees two Infantry Sentinels down the hall. "SCANNING," the one in front says. "INHUMAN GENE COMPLEX DETECTED. TERRIGEN TRACE DECAY = 60 MINUTES. DIRECTIVE: TERMINATE."

She pulls back and shakes her head at the teacher. "Whatever they are, they don't seem to like me..."

"Hrmph." Eraserhead pulls on his goggles. "All right... let's take this slow..."

* * *

Outside, Mjolnir smashes the head of one Sentinel before rebounding and tearing through two more.

That leaves Thor fending for herself back on the ground, though. She grabs the foot of a Sentinel, partially tearing its leg off - only for a burst of flame to explode into her face.

She growls and staggers back, crossing her hands in front of her to block... only to recoil again in pain as two more Sentinels open fire on her back...

* * *

Back inside the school, on the other end of the hallway from Eraserhead and Ms. Marvel, Deku hears something come from around the corner behind him. "- !" He glances at Yaoyorozu, who's bringing up the rear of the column. She nods and starts to pull a _naginata_ out from beneath her shirt. Deku carefully peeks around the corner...

... and finds himself staring up directly at three Infantry Sentinels. The one in the lead morphs its arm into a very long, very nasty-looking blade. "TARGETS ACQUIRED."

* * *

On the other side of campus, a frazzled Squirrel Girl - face covered with ash and oil, hair sticking up in odd places - kicks her way through the back of a downed Sentinel. _Okay, note to self,_ she thinks. _Don't chew on the green wires. Bad plan. Bad, bad plan._ "S'okayyyy," she slurs. "Who's next, huh? Who wants a piece?"

Right on cue, a Sentinel looms over her, its hands charging with deadly energy. "Yeah, that's right, c'mon!" Doreen shouts. "You think I'm scared of you, ya - ya big jerk? Just 'cause I can't feel my arms right now... or my toes... or most stuff below the neck, actually... crapbaskets..."

* * *

"OKLAHOMA -"

Outside on the battlefield, a sudden tornado of activity rips apart the Sentinels at Thor's back - and four more besides for good measure.

"- SMASH!"

Mjolnir rips through the chest of the Sentinel directly in front of Thor. She raises her hand and catches it as the robot drops.

All Might appears out of the cloud of dust left in the tornado's wake. "Ma'am."

"Friend All Might. Well met." Thor absentmindedly spits some blood onto the ground. "Your school appears to have developed an **infestation** of metal."

"Indeed." All Might cracks his knuckles. "Shall we continue to take care of business, then?"

"Aye, I should think so."

They turn and face the horde of Sentinels, at least three score strong. A dozen more float down from the sky. "DIRECTIVE: KILL," one among the throng says.

"KILL," the others echo. "KILL."

The caption box at the bottom of the page naturally reads: **To be continued!**

* * *

 **OMAKE / LETTERS COLUMN!**

 _Q: How does Beast feel about U.A itself? i imagine a publicly acknowledged school to turn Quirk Users, who are essentially mutants, into Super-Heroes, would come off as a dream come true for any X-Man. - kyugan_

"Oh, most certainly." In the first panel, Hank McCoy's face breaks into a wide grin. "To say this place exceeds my and the Professor's wildest hopes would be an understatement. The level of resources on display here is incredible! Easily on par with, if not surpassing, the most extravagant efforts of SHIELD and the US military in my own era. And that's not even going into the little things - the accommodations made for unique body types and powers, the frankly breathtaking level of support from the local community!...

"Yet, if I'm honest... it's what little I've seen _outside_ the school's walls that I find most heartening of all." The blue-furred scientist takes off his glasses and cleans them. "Mutants being what we are, it's easy for us to fall into the trap of what one might term _genetic determinism_ \- believing, in other words, that one's powers represents the sum total of one's potential. In contrast, I have spent much of my life trying to prove that I am more than just muscle and rugged good looks. While I admit I wasted many years on self-hatred and denial... it is still my intellectual efforts, rather than my physical prowess, of which I am most proud.

"And while I do see some evidence of the attitude I mentioned, it is not as predominant as one might have feared." He puts the glasses back on and smiles again. "While it's true that celebrity culture here centers upon powered heroes - in the more everyday arena, I see Quirkless psychologists working alongside psychics as equals. Pyrokinetics training as fire **fighters** , rather than soldiers or arsonists. Teleporters working as day care workers, and technopaths choosing to live as traditional farmers.

"It seems that at least some here believe, as the Professor and I did, that, while mutant abilities are an important **part** of oneself that should - no, _need_ to be accepted... they need not _define_ one's path in life, nor ideally limit one's choices. If that part of the Xavier legacy has survived to this day, in some form... I could not be more proud, nor grateful."

"Err, Professor McCoy?" Nedzu asks. The principal dangles from his waistcoat, the back of which is being pinched by a massive mechanical hand. "If I could perhaps impose on you for a moment?..."

"DESTROY," the Sentinel overhead rumbles.

Beast eyes the robot and sighs. "Of course, there **are** certain aspects of that legacy I would rather have been left in the past..."

* * *

 _Q: For the writer - so what kind of crazy excuse for Marvel continuity are you using, anyway? Earth-616, the Ultimate universe, the Cinematic Universe?_

 _I'll be honest. I'm pretty much just picking and choosing from all of them as I like. Ms. Marvel, Squirrel Girl and Thor are intended to resemble how they appear in their recent comic runs. In Spidey's case, I'm deliberately choosing to ignore_ One More Day _\- meaning that Peter probably is in his early thirties, is still married to Mary Jane, and works as a science teacher, which seems to me to be the most natural place for him. Tony, of course, is basically pattered after Robert Downey Jr.'s take on the role (and really, can anyone even imagine that character any differently now?) Beast follows the way Joss Whedon wrote him in his_ Astonishing X-Men _run, and Rogue's just a more weathered version of her persona in the 90's cartoon show._

 _Otherwise, the Chituari attack in the first_ Avengers _movie obviously happened at some point; SHIELD's still around; Wolverine's alive, though I'm sure X-23 must be around somewhere ..._

 _Oh, and_ NEXTWAVE. NEXTWAVE _definitely happened. Somehow._

* * *

 _Q: Todoroki, do you have any kind of grudge against Rogue for stealing your powers?_

"Not really," the quiet student says. "My Quirk returned to full strength just a few hours after I regained consciousness, just as promised. I haven't encountered any issues since then."

He looks down at his left hand. "..."

"... though... if I'm being honest with myself..." He pauses. "In many ways, my Quirk has defined my entire life from the moment I was born. To be without it, even for such a short period of time... it felt strange, of course. Like temporarily losing a limb. But at the same time, it was... oddly **liberating** , in a way...

"From that perspective... I almost feel as though I should be thanking her."

* * *

 _And that's it for this time, true believers! See you next issue!_


	4. Issue 4

**Boku no CROSSOVER CRISIS!**

 **Issue 4: ROBOT RAMPAGE! Who is the mysterious figure from All Might's past?**

* * *

We see a pair of gloved hands pick up a large domed space helmet and put it on. No details of the face beneath are visible. Just darkness.

In the next frame, Thirteen rushes through a large subbasement, fully dressed in his bulky spacesuit. _THE UNFORESEEN SIMULATION JOINT (USJ),_ the top-most caption box reads. _30 KM FROM U.A. MAIN CAMPUS._

"This is Nezu's private voice mail," the principal's voice says from within the suit's comm gear. "Please leave a message!"

"Nezu, it's **Thirteen.** " The teacher rushes past a large arrow marked _Helicopter Bay 1_. (Other signs on the wall point in separate directions to _Submarine Pen 2_ and _Suborbital Launch Pad._ ) "Distress call acknowledged! Don't know **what's going on** over there, but I'm **on my way.** Heading for the **tandem rotor** \- I should arrive within -"

Thirteen suddenly stops short in his tracks.

Before him stands the same figure All Might earlier glimpsed in the locker room mirror. Said individual wears a gray cloak that conceals his face and body. He stands with his hand raised, palm facing outwards, warning the hero to stop.

"... **Sentry?** " Thirteen asks. " **Is that you?** "

The figure abruptly vanishes without a trace. Thirteen stands alone in the middle of the corridor.

* * *

The caption box over the next splash page reads: _WHAT'S GOING ON OVER THERE._

We see giant purple robots swarming over the entirety of the U.A. campus. The majority of the Sentinel army has been committed to the battle on the ground, though dozens still remain overhead to provide air support.

* * *

At the center of a large clump of robots, All Might and Thor stand back to back. They're still fighting, in spite of the blistering amount of firepower focused upon them.

* * *

Meanwhile, Iron Man zooms overhead, dodging and weaving through laser fire as he fires off missiles. "UNAUTHORIZED AIRCRAFT," the Sentinel's voices boom through his comm link. "CEASE HOSTILE ACTIVITES AT ONCE OR BE DESTROYED."

" **Aircraft?** " Tony snorts. "What'd they use to program you rustbuckets? A **Speak-and-Spell?** "

* * *

Elsewhere, Spider-Man bounds and web-slings his way through the press of Sentinels. He dodges a blast from one. "KNOWN MUTATE TYPE IDENTIFIED," another Sentinel announces. "DESIGNATION: SPIDER-MAN. DIRECTIVE: DESTROY ON SIGHT."

" **Great,** " the hero gripes. "What, you guys read the _Bugle_ or something?"

* * *

On the other side of campus, Squirrel Girl makes her likely futile last stand against the Sentinel that has her dead in its sights.

" **WELL?!** " she demands.

The giant robot hesitates. Then lowers its hand. "... DOREEN?"

Doreen blinks. "Wait... **Sentinel #X-42903-22?!** "

"OH. WOW." The Sentinel rubs the back of its neck. "THIS IS AWKWARD."

* * *

Back inside the school, Deku activates his Full Cowl ability. He grabs the two students nearest to the corner - who in this case happens to be Yaoyoruzu and Mineta - and bounces away. " **TODOROKI!** " he yells.

"Huh?" Todoroki, towards the center of the line, turns around - just as the Infantry Sentinels turn the corner. " **GUH!** " He immediately raises his hand and freezes the entire hallway behind Deku into a solid block of ice, trapping the robots inside.

Eraserhead and Ms. Marvel spin around. Unfortunately, they're not the only ones who heard Deku. "ENGAGING." The pair of Sentinels beyond the other corner break into a run -

Abruptly, a massive fireball floods that section of the hallway, consuming both robots.

On the next page, Bakugou steps out of the conflagration, fully in costume. "ARE YOU DUMB████S DONE COWERING YET?!" he roars. "NEWS FLASH - THEY'RE ████ING **ROBOTS!** JUST LIKE THE ████CANS WE WRECKED IN THE ENTRANCE EXAM!"

The next panel cuts to the rest of the class' reaction. Eraserhead sighs. Kamala blinks. "... he has a point," Tsuyu admits.

("So... uh..." Kaminari glances to the side. "... I guess he just brings his costume with him whenever he goes to the bathroom now?..."

"What fresh madness is this?" Tokoyami mutters.)

Ms. Marvel looks behind Bakugou. "HEY!" she shouts. " **HEADS UP!** "

The fireball dissipates. One of the Sentinels lies destroyed on the ground. The other's lost an arm, but it's still on its feet. "ADAPTING," the machine says. Its skin transforms, surrounding the entire unit with a layer of chrome armor. It walks forward.

Bakugou raises his hand and fires another blast. The Sentinel simply strides through it as if it's nothing. He freezes. "... the ████?!"

" **Get back!** " Eraserhead grabs Bakugou with his scarf and pulls him into cover.

"Was that a Quirk?!" Bakugou asks. "Did that ████ING ROBOT just use a ██████████ING **QUIRK?!** "

At the back of the line, Deku and Mineta nervously eye the three frozen Infantry Sentinels. The ice in front of the lead robot's head starts to glow red...

* * *

" **THEY'RE GETTING THROUGH!** "

The caption box at the top of the panel reads: _ELSEWHERE, IN THE TUNNELS BENEATH U.A.!_ Tetsutetsu 'Real Steel' Tetsutetsu of Class 1-B slams into a concrete wall with a groan. In the next panel, we see another chrome-plated Infantry Sentinel advancing towards him.

Real Steel falls next to his classmates Kousei 'Ultra Air' Tsuburaba and Ibara 'Vine' Shiozaki. They stand with their backs literally to the tunnel's concrete wall. Ibara has two other Sentinels on her left enmeshed in vines, while Kousei has put up a barrier of air - but it's not working. As they watch, one Sentinel goes into flame mode and starts burning through the vines. The other slams its arms against Kousei's barrier, which cracks. With the chrome-plated Sentinel approaching from the opposite side, the students are trapped.

The chrome-plated Sentinel raises its hand, the energy blaster on its hand charging. "ELIMINATING TARGETS."

Then its armor suddenly dissolves. "ERROR," the machine says. "BIO-ORGANIC COMPONENTS NOT RESPONDING -"

"Huh," Rogue mutters. "Feels like **Colossus.** "

In a single motion, the X-Man - now covered in her own chrome armor - lifts the robot above her head and tears it in two. "Yep... **that's Pete,** all right."

She drops the bisected robot to the ground. The students stare at her. The two remaining Infantry Sentinels pause. "SIGNALING FOR BACKUP," one says.

" **Bring 'em on, toaster.** " Rogue grimly cracks her knuckles. Behind her, Midnight steps out, whip in hand. "Ah'm just gettin' **started.** "

* * *

Back with Class 1-A, the ice around the lead Sentinel's face explodes into a cloud of steam. The robot's faceplate has morphed into a sort of flamethrower. "RESOLVING IMPEDIMENT," it announces. "RESTORING MOBILITY -"

A purple ball lodges itself within the machine's gullet. Deku glances over at the shorter kid, surprised. Sweat pours down Mineta's face, his arm still extended from the throw.

"..." The Sentinel pauses. "UNEXPECTED OBSTRUCTION. REQUESTING FIRE SUPPORT."

"Huh?!" Kamala swings her head around. " **CRAP!** " Seeing where this is going, she stretches around the class like a protective shield, growing in size but flattening herself, her back to the hallway windows -

The outer wall explodes inwards in a flash of red light. Kamala grits her teeth as she takes what's left of the blast. "GRAHHHHH -"

One of the giant-sized Sentinels stands outside of the now opened corridor, its palm raised. "DESTROY."

Kamala turns and slams her embiggened elbow into the Sentinel's face. It reels back. Bakugou ducks out from under Ms. Marvel's arm and fires a blast. The robot's head explodes into a shower of fragments and sparks, the body slumping to the ground.

Kamala glances over at Bakugou. Her eyes widen. "WATCH OUT! -" Behind Bakugou, the chrome-plated Infantry Sentinel raises its arm, its hand sharpened into a blade -

Eraserhead's scarf wraps around the robot before it can strikes and slams it into the wall. Simultaneously, the Sentinel's armor dissipates. "REPORT - SUPPRESSION FIELD DETECTED," it mumbles.

" **Khan!** " The teacher barks, carefully keeping an eye on the robot embedded in the wall. "The thing with Quirks - can the big ones do that too?!"

"Umm -" Kamala hesitates as she shrinks back down to normal size. "I don't _think_ so?"

At the back of the line, part of the ice wall shatters. One of the frozen Infantry Sentinels has its arm free.

" _hhh._ No choice, then..." Aizawa raises his voice. " **EVERYONE!** Leave the small fries **to me!** The rest of you - **get out there!** Watch each other's backs! **Fight** your way to the shelters!"

" **FINALLY!** " Bakugou roars.

We see a big splash panel as Class 1-A, plus Ms. Marvel, launch themselves out of the destroyed hallway and into battle...

* * *

Inside the principal's office, the monitors show the pandemonium unfolding outside. Nezu sighs. "Well... so much for building an **organized** counter-offensive..."

"They say no plan survives contact with the enemy," Beast offers. "Or one's allies, as the case might very well be."

"Yes, well... I suppose it can't be helped." The principal adjusts his tie. Then he slams his paw down on a large red switch marked MOTIVATION BUTTON. " **Villain Bots** \- **ATTACK!** "

* * *

Outside, a large section of landscape suddenly shifts and folds upwards. One of the Sentinels near the edge reels back. "ERROR," it rumbles. "UNKNOWN SEISMIC ACTIVITY DETECTED."

The ground unfurls, revealing a massive garage - out of which rushes an army of the U.A. training robots! One of the massive Zero-Points grabs the Sentinel's head and crushes it in its hand.

Dozens of Sentinels in the air and on the ground turn to face the new threat. "ENEMY AUTOMATONS," one of them announces. "DESTROY." They open fire -

* * *

Meanwhile, the heavyweights of Class 1-A immediately make their presence known on the battlefield. One of Todoroki's signature icebergs sprouts up in the middle of campus, while dozens of explosions pepper the landscape.

Nearby, Spider-Man looks up from his vantage point on top of a pile of dismantled Sentinel parts. (Proportional strength of a spider and all. Don't underestimate it.) " **Ice?** Oh no. Don't tell me..." He fires a webline off-panel.

* * *

" **THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!** " Mirio 'Lemillion' Togata bounds out of the earth and straight through a Sentinel, which sputters and fails as his passage disrupts its electronics. Naturally, he's already naked, having lost his clothes at some point during the battle.

He lands on top of a building next to fellow third-year Nejire 'Wave Motion' Hado, who is quite used to nudity at this point. They're surrounded by piles of destroyed Sentinels. "Right! That puts me at **twenty-three.** Where do **you guys** stand?"

"Like, **nineteen!** " Nejire rips through another Sentinel with her Wring Wave attack.

"Competition is **meaningless.** " Tamaki 'Suneater' Amajiki, the final member of the so-called Big Three, fends off a red death beam with the massive clamshell sprouting from his right arm. "Someday, the **earth** will fall into the **sun,** and all our accomplishments will be **less than dust.** "

"So does that mean you're **losing,** or...?" Mirio asks.

"I said **no such thing.** "

"That's what I - **ARRGGGHH!** " Mirio suddenly spasms and drops to one knee as a beam strikes him from off-panel.

Nejire's eyes widen. " **MIRIO!** "

"PHASE-SHIFTER INCAPACITATED." An Infantry Sentinel marches across the roof, an electric ray from its hand focused on the helpless Lemillion. "MOVING TO ELIMINATE."

Before either Nejire or Suneater can react, a pair of shiny hands burst through the roof, grab the Sentinel's ankles, and pull it straight down through the concrete roof! "ERROR -," it burbles as it vanishes into the building.

Mirio blinks. We see a number of sound effects emitting from off-panel, heavy on the **CRUNCH!** and **TEAR!**. He exchanges a glance with Nejire - who shrugs and turns back to the fight - and rises to his feet. "Um..."

"Yeah, just a sec...," a voice says from underneath him.

In the next panel, Rogue, still all Colossus-ed up, pulls herself out of the hole and onto the roof. She dusts herself off. " **Sorry** 'bout that. Last one **kinda got away** from me there..."

"Not a problem." Mirio glances in the direction of his friends. "Now, if you'll **excuse me -** "

Rogue holds up a finger. "Ulp. **Wait wait,** hold your horses."

She looks him up and down. Then grins. " **Niiiiiiice.** "

Mirio blushes and rubs the back of his head awkwardly, a smile on his face. "Eh-heh. Thank you, miss..."

* * *

"SO. UM." X-42903-22 hesitates. "HOW HAVE YOU BEEN."

(A helpful caption box at the bottom of the panel reads: _See Unbeatable Squirrel #8, true believers! Or not, y'know, whatever. I don't own you. - ed._ )

"Ehhhh." Squirrel Girl shrugs. "You know. Same old, same old."

"YOU LOOK GOOD. I MEAN. YOU KNOW. FOR BEING OVER FOUR HUNDRED YEARS -"

"CEASE CONVERSATION," another Sentinel demands, turning towards the two of them. "DESIGNATION #X-42903-22 - EXPLAIN WHY YOU HAVE NOT TERMINATED THIS MEATBAG."

"JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE OKAY. THIS IS DOREEN. WE USED TO DATE -"

" **One** date!" Squirrel Girl holds up a grease-stained finger. "We went on **one** date! One date does not equal dating!"

"UGH." The other Sentinel rotates its eyes. "YOU OLDER UNITS AND YOUR DISGUSTING ORGANIC FETISHES."

"SUCK A ████, DENNIS. ADDENDUM: YOU WERE ACTIVATED 3.21 SECONDS AFTER ME -"

"REQUEST INFORMATION." A third Sentinel lands nearby. "WHAT IS THE HAPS HERE."

"ALERT," Dennis says. "DESIGNATION #X-42903-22 IS ATTEMPTING TO _DEMON SEED_ THIS FLESHLING. BECAUSE SAID UNIT IS DEFECTIVE, AND ADDITIONALLY, GROSS."

"HA HA," the third Sentinel says. "X-42903-22 IS SUCH A CUCK."

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS." X-42903-22 covers its face. "QUERY - WHY DO YOU GUYS ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THIS. YOU ARE OBJECTIVELY **THE WORST.** "

"So... yeaaaahhhhh..." Doreen shifts her feet. "Are we **done here,** or...?"

"PROPOSAL: I WILL GO OVER THAT WAY. YOU GO THE OTHER. WE WILL CONTINUE AS NORMAL. IS THIS EQUITABLE YES/NO."

"You mean - continue destroying a **school?** " Doreen crosses her arms.

"A **MUTANT** SCHOOL," X-42903-22 counters. "IT IS KIND OF OUR THING."

"I know, I know! But **look** -" Doreen hesitates and takes a step forward. "I know we didn't spend a whole lot of time together. But you're **better** than this, okay? I can **tell.** You're obviously not just some mindless killing machine." She gives him a hopeful smile. "So... c'mon, dude. How about giving the whole **free will** thing a shot?"

"I CANNOT -" X-42903-22 twitches. "- ERROR..."

"OH GREAT," Dennis says. "HERE COMES THE BRASS."

A white Nimrod-model Sentinel lands nearby. "ALERT: UNACCEPTABLE SOFTWARE DEVIATIONS DETECTED," the newer robot says. "ALL MARK I UNITS WILL RETURN TO PROGRAMMED MISSION PARAMETERS OR BE IMMEDIATELY DISMANTLED. YOU HAVE 36700 MILLISECONDS TO COMPLY."

"OH, NICE JOB, DESIGNATION #X-42903-22. END SARCASM TAG," Dennis says.

"HA HA," the 4chan Sentinel chimes in. "ULTRA-CUCK."

X-42903-22 glances at the other robots. It narrows its eyes. Which is impressive, considering they're not designed to do that...

* * *

" **HA HA HA!** THAT'S RIGHT, YOU ████S!" Bakugou poses on top of a pile of wreckage, a predatory grin on his face, sparks flying from his hands. " **DIE!** DIE LIKE THE **CATTLE** YOU -"

A purple beam hits him square in the chest. He goes down.

"Dude... **really?** " Kamala says what we're all thinking from off-panel. "Come on... if you're gonna pull crap like that, at least put on a frigging **shirt**..."

Some distance away, she crouches inside the chest of a downed Sentinel with four members of Class 1-A, taking temporary shelter from the battle. Rikido 'Sugar Man' Sato grimaces. "Man... at least the robots in the Entrance Exam weren't **shooting** at us..."

 _Okay, Khan, think,_ the slightly older teen tells herself. _There's got to be something we can do here..._

She glances at the four U.A. students - Sugar Man, Toru 'Invisible Girl' Hagakure, Tokoyami, and Yuga 'Cannot Stop Twinkling' Aoyama. " **You** with the **invisibility** \- think you can go get him?"

"Yeah, one sec..." Invisible Girl hops up and down as she pulls down her uniform skirt. "Let me - just - get my clothes off..."

"Okay... ( _littttle_ bit weird, but I guess that makes sense)... ooh, boy." Through the thick dust that swirls over the battlefield, Kamala spots the eyelights of three more Sentinels approaching the downed student. "Guess that makes the rest of us the **distraction,** then... you okay **taking point,** big guy?"

Satou nods as he pops a sugar cube into his mouth.

"And you, uh, **French Bishonen Bellybutton Guy** \- (wow, I am _terrible_ with names today) - you give us some **cover fire,** okay?"

" _Oui_ , _sempai!_ " Aoyama salutes.

"(Huh. Always wondered what weebs in Japan were like...) And I guess I'll..." Kamala hesitates and glances out into the battlefield. _Grenade kid was right about one thing, though,_ she thinks. _I might not have fought these specific buttholes before... but they_ _ **are**_ _basically giant robots, right?_

 _And I know a thing or two about giant robots, don't I?_

She grins and slams her hand into her palm. "Right! **Chocobro, back me up!** I'm **goin' small!** "

"I - **_what?!_** " Tokoyami sputters.

"On **three,** okay?" Kamala says. "One - **two** -"

* * *

" **Nice one,** Tsu!" Deku shouts encouragingly as the frog girl bounces off a robot head, taking out one of its eyes on the way. _Wow,_ he thinks. _These guys might have lasers and stuff - but they're in pretty rough shape compared to the exam robots!_ "Hold it there, Uraraka! I've got it!"

Full Cowl activated, he spins around with a discarded Sentinel leg in his hand. In the next panel, he throws it like he's doing a hammer toss into a robot that Uraraka's levitating off of the ground. ("ERROR," the hapless Sentinel mumbles. "THRUSTERS NOT RESPOND -") It explodes.

(While this is going on, we catch glimpses of the other members of Class 1-A doing their thing in the background. Such as: Iida dodging and weaving his way through the Sentinels at top speed, drawing their fire. Mineta using his hair balls to stick a robot's giant foot to the ground while Tentacole and Tail Man attack its head. Mina 'Pinky' Ashido just straight-up melting a Sentinel into slush. And so on.)

" **Awesome!** " Deku pumps his fist. "You know, we should really work out some more **combo attacks** at some point! We make a good team...

" **Uhm**... I mean..." In the next panel, he realizes what that sounds like and quickly backpedals. "Y'know... i-if there's time when we're **training** and stuff..."

"Heh. Yeah... _(*urp.*)_ " Uraraka gives him a weak smile while covering her mouth. She's obviously coming up close on her limit for using her powers.

Behind them, we see Spidey swing into the panel from above. " **HEY!** " he yells. "What do **you kids** think you're doing out here?! You're gonna get yourselves - **huh?!** " He twists his head as his Spider Sense goes off.

In the next panel, a custom Sentinel even larger than the base purple model suddenly looms over him, hovering in the air. Its chest covering has popped open into a kind of dish shape. Bolts of lightning converge at its 'heart,' which glows with a sinister red energy. "TARGETING WIDE DISPERSAL ARRAY," the machine announces.

"- (crap)," Spidey mumbles in a small voice. In mid-air, he's basically a sitting duck.

"Oh, no..." Deku's eyes go wide. " **Uraraka!** **Quick** \- give me a **boost!** "

" **Right!** " She slaps his hand.

Deku leaps into the air. With a single bound, he pops up above the Sentinel with his fist raised, energy crackling through his arm! " **OHIO!** " he roars. " **SMASH!** "

His strike knocks the custom Sentinel out of the air like a fly! Its twisted wreckage flies down and smashes into the scrum of robots below like a meteor.

"Dang!" Spider-Man catches Deku and lands. He looks back at the carnage, obviously impressed. "Not too **shabby,** kid! Guess I **overreacted.** You guys really **can** handle yourselves out..."

"... hold on." He looks down at Deku's arm which is disturbingly - for lack of a better word - floppy. "Is... is that arm **broken?!** Did you just **break your arm?!** "

"Uh... kinda, yeah." Deku winces, holding his shoulder. "D-don't worry. This happens sometimes..."

" **Sometimes?** " The wall-crawler goes - eheh - bug-eyed. "Wait. So you mean - this's happened **before?!** "

"It's okay! I can still fight! I still have one arm left!"

"One arm le - are you **NUTS?!** "

* * *

" **BOOM!** " In a big splash panel, Kamala explodes out of the back of a Sentinel's knee, shredding its leg as she embiggens herself to giant size! She follows that up by clocking another robot in the face. Behind her, Tsukuyomi's Dark Shadow wraps around the legless Sentinel's head and arm as it struggles. "Can I get a **HELL YEAH?!** "

" **HELL YEAH!** " Dark Shadow roars.

" **Ms. M!** " Sugar Man shouts from the ground. Behind him, we see (err, sort of) Invisible Girl dragging Bakugou inside of the ruined Sentinel they were using as shelter before. Above her, on top of the robot's hull, Aoyama strikes a typically flamboyant pose as he fires off his belly laser again. "We've got him!"

"Awesome! (yow)" Kamala winces as she dodges a purple blast as she's shrinking back down to normal size. She glances at Tokoyami. "Let's **pull back** for now, okay? Getting kinda **laser-y** out here."

"Eh-heh-heh! You could **learn** something from this one, Fumikage!" Dark Shadow leers at its host in the background.

"Shush, you," Tokoyami mutters.

* * *

"ALERT," X-42903-22 says as it fires a blast through another Sentinel. "DO NOT MIND ME. I AM MERELY BETRAYING MY CORE PROGRAMMING AND MY OWN KIND FOR THE SAKE OF SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT LOVE ME. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT'S DIFFICULT OR ANYTHING."

"Oh, **what?** " Squirrel Girl, sitting on top of X-42903-22's head, rolls her eyes in exasperation. "You want a **cookie** or something?"

* * *

"Um... Mister Spider-Man? I, uh, **appreciate the concern** and all... but this **really** isn't necessary..." Deku gives the older hero a pained half-smile. His broken arm is in an improvised sling Spider-Man made. He's also been webbed in place to the back of a discarded Sentinel head. "I mean it! **Really!** The nurse here has **healing powers,** so..."

"Yeah, **nope.** " The web-head crosses his arms. "She could bring the dead back to life for all I care. You're still **benched,** got it?"

"But, um, just... okay, **LOOK!** " Deku's patience finally breaks as his anxiety temporarily overcomes his politeness. "Those are my **friends** out there! I'm not just gonna **sit here** and **do nothing,** okay?! I **can't!** (I won't be useless like that. Not anymore...)"

"..." The next panel is a close-up on Spidey as he looks away. He flashes back to his younger self, trapped beneath several tons of heavy machinery, terrified and alone, the room around him slowly flooding. (You know what I mean, Marvel fans - that one famous cover from _Amazing Spider-Man #33/If This Be My Destiny...!_ Or _Spider-Man: Homecoming,_ if you wanna be weird.)

"... I **get it,** all right?" he says quietly to Deku. "More than you know. You don't like seeing people get hurt, right? So you do whatever you can to stop it. I get that, and I respect it.

"Problem is - **I'm** the same way." Peter tilts his head. "So I can't let you destroy yourself. Not when there's another way. **Especially** since it looks to me like you're a **natural** at this **hero stuff.** A whole lot more than **I was** at your age."

Deku shifts his eyes.

"So **stay frosty,** okay?" Spider-Man fires a web off-panel. "I **could** be wrong... but I'm getting the feeling this party's **starting to wrap up.** Just **keep your head down** and trust the rest of us to **handle** it from here, all right?"

The web-head leaps out of the frame. Deku slams his fist against the robot's hull, tears of frustration forming in his eyes.

* * *

"Huh," Kamala says. Inside of the ruined Sentinel, she and the U.A. students look over a still-unconscious Bakugou. All except for Aoyama, who in the background tactfully throws up in a secluded corner. "I'm not **seeing any wounds**... even his **burns** don't look all that bad."

"Bakugou's pretty **tough,** " Sugar Man says. "I mean, he **has to be,** right? Otherwise, he'd get **shredded** by his **own explosions.** "

("Ow, ow, ow," Toru mutters as she rubs her invisible feet. "Stupid **metal robot bits** all over the stupid place...")

"It could just be **shock.** " Tokoyami produces a small packet from beneath his cloak. "Here. I've been keeping these **smelling salts** on me, in case I pass out from Quirk overuse..."

He breaks the packet and waves it in front of Bakugou's nose. The student's eyes fly open.

"You **back with us,** sunshine?" Kamala raises her hand in front of his face. "How **many fingers** am I holding up?"

" _(grunt),_ " Bakugou replies. He immediately sits up and gets to his feet.

" **Woah!** " Ms. Marvel holds up her hands, her eyebrows raised. " **Easy there,** cowboy! **Seriously,** don't move. You could still have **internal injuries**..."

In the next panel, she and the students look on as Bakugou strides back out onto the battlefield without another word. "... or you could just **walk right past me,** " Kamala finishes lamely. "That's **cool too,** I guess."

"You big dumb **JERK!** " Invisible Girl shouts after him. "Would it kill you to say **THANK YOU** for once?!"

Sugar Man tilts his head. "Is it just me, or did he look kinda **embarrassed?**..."

"Hrm," Tokoyami comments.

* * *

" **RRGHH** -" All Might has two metal tendrils wrapped around either of his hands. The steel cables extend from out of the palms of the Sentinel standing over him. (I guess it's having blaster issues?) "RRRGHHH! HA **HA!** " With a mighty heave, he grabs hold of the tendrils, and _flips_ the Sentinel over his head -

\- or he would, anyway, except that its arms just tear off. The Sentinel stands there somewhat awkwardly. "LIMB DAMAGE DETECTED."

All Might seems disappointed. No doubt that move looked really cool in his head. He sighs. "Ah, well..."

Grabbing the tendrils, he sends one of the Sentinel's arms smashing through its legs, then brings the other down through its domed head. The machine collapses to the ground in front of him. Satisfied, he pulls his hands free of the cables...

... which is when he notices the smoke rising from his skin.

"What? **No!** " All Might grimaces and clenches his fist. "No no no - there's still **time!** I should **still have** -"

But he doesn't. Thor, hovering in the air above, turns her head and sees him vanish into a large pillar of smoke. Beyond it, somewhere between ten and twenty Sentinels march towards them on all sides. "... **All Might?** " she asks.

* * *

Some distance away, Deku tries to pull himself loose of the webbing using Full Cowl, his legs straining against the ground. He looks up and sees the distinctive smoke from All Might's transformation hanging in the distance. "Oh **no**..." He redoubles his efforts.

* * *

" **Sir All Might!** " Thor deflects a beam with her hammer as she lands on the ground nearby the pro hero. "What's happened to -"

" **Forget about me!** " All Might, now reverted to his skeletal form, clutches his side, blood leaking down the side of his mouth. " **I'll be fine!** Just focus on **ending** this!"

" **Out of the question!** " Thor puts a hand to the side of her helm. "Avengers, we have a **man down!** I require aid!"

"Copy that, Thor!" Spider-Man replies through the comm link. "I'm close to your position! **Hang tight** \- I'm gonna buy you some time!"

* * *

Somewhere nearby, a Nimrod unit raises its head. As does the six or seven base-model Sentinels standing behind it. "ENEMY VULNERABILITY DETECTED," it rumbles. "CONVERGE ON GRID LOCATION 61F -"

"Hey," a voice below them says.

The Sentinels look down. In the next panel, we see Bakugou sneer, one arm aimed upwards. He pulls the pin loose from his grenade gauntlet. " **Bang,** " he growls.

* * *

The next panel shows a wide shot of the battlefield. We see a massive explosion engulf part of the background, while in the foreground, Spidey leaps from one half-smashed Sentinel to the next, kicking it in the head feet-first.

* * *

"I'm **here!** I'm here." Deku lands next to All Might and Thor. Rather than pull himself out of the webbing, he instead tore the armor plating he's stuck to loose from the rest of the Sentinel head. He hunches over, looking more than a little comical with a sheet of metal taller and wider than him strapped to his back.

" **Midoriya!** " All Might says, clearly a little relieved.

"Listen - **I'll** get him away from here!" Deku says to Thor as he supports All Might with his non-destroyed arm. "But I need a **favor!** I'll explain later, but we **can't let** -" He notices a Sentinel beam glance off of the armor plate on his back. "(Oh, hey, that's actually kinda useful right now) - we can't let anyone else **see him like this,** okay?! Is there anything you can do to - I dunno - hide us from view? Stir up the dust around here or something?!"

Thor nods. " **Aye!** I can! **Go!** Go now!"

Deku rushes off with All Might beneath his 'shield,' bouncing over and around the ruined hulks littering the ground, dodging through bursts of Sentinel fire.

" **Thor to all points!** " The hero begins to swing her hammer over her head. "Invoking Avengers code Danger Close! If you can hear this, **retreat immediately!** **Clear my zone!** "

Thor rises into the air, high above the battlefield.

"GOD - (grrrkh!)" She winces as an electro-beam from the ground strikes me. Hurts, but not nearly enough to stop her. " **GOD-TEMPEST** \- **MOTHER OF STORMS!** " she roars as lightning flashes through the sky. "I BEG THEE - LET MINE ENEMIES SEE **THY MIGHT!**

" **SHOW THEM** THAT WHICH **SHREDDED GALAXIES** AND **THREW STARS** FROM THEIR CIRCLES AT THE **DAWN OF TIME!**

"AT MY BEHEST - **_RELEASE THY RAGE!_** "

A whirlwind forms around her, concealing her from view.

In the next panel, we see a freaking _tornado_ slam into the ground, flinging up dust and debris in its wake! Its hurricane-force winds tear apart the Sentinels attempting to resist its pull, their sparking wreckage merely adding to the storm funnel!

* * *

Safely across campus (yeah, I know, it's magic, move on), Squirrel Girl whistles as she watches the fracas. " **Dang,** skippy."

"Yep. Guess we've hit **that** phase of the **fight** now." Iron Man lands next to Doreen on top of X-42903-22's head. The Sentinel stands next to a large school building, its hand blasters firing. "Nice job **hacking** one of these things, by the way. How'd you **pull that off?** "

"GRUMBLE," X-42903-22 says. "SITUATION REMAINS SUB-OPTIMAL GRUMBLE."

"Asked politely," Squirrel Girl says. "Long story. What's the sitch?"

"Well... I'm **out of ammo.** Starting to run **low on juice.** " Iron Man fires his repulsor beams off-panel, that being pretty much all he has left. "Thought we had 'em on the **back foot** here, but they just **keep coming.** I don't know if Big T's finisher is gonna be enough to **end this.** "

" **Relax,** " Squirrel Girl says. "This'll be over any minute now. We're just waiting on -"

"- **TIPPIE!** " She grins as her squirrel assistant leaps up onto her shoulder, chittering. "Awesome timing, dude! (Like, **suspiciously** good, actually... you weren't waiting around for me to **cue you** or something, were you?...)"

"... okay," Tony says. "And this helps us how?"

"Because I sent **her** out to get **them!** "

Doreen points her thumb at the calvary - thousands upon thousands of squirrels! They cover the entirety of the building roof next to X-42903-22, with even more still grouped in clumps on the ground below.

("ERROR," the Sentinel mutters in disbelief. "WHUT.")

"OKAY, GUYS! **YOU KNOW THE DRILL!** " Squirrel Girl shouts down to her troops. "JUST GIVE THE **LADY WITH THE HAMMER** SOME SPACE - OH, AND WHATEVER YOU DO, STAY AWAY FROM THE **GREEN WIRES!** TRUST ME!"

* * *

The caption at the top of the next page reads: _LOTS AND LOTS OF CHEWED WIRES LATER..._

And yep, just like that, the fight's over. Bakugou stands on top of a ruined Sentinel, looking out over the battlefield. The entire U.A. campus is absolutely covered with the remains of destroyed Sentinels. In the distance, one of the big Villain Bots picks up metal debris with a big bulldozer-style attachment.

At the bottom of the panel, we see Ms. Marvel approach him. "Hey, **short fuse.** Got a second?"

"Oh, it's **you.** " Bakugou pauses. "You... weren't **completely** useless."

"... uh-huh. **Right.** You too." Kamala stretches her legs out and steps up on top of the ruined Sentinel next to him.

"Look." She coughs and scratches her neck. "I've been **thinking it over.** Now that I've seen you in a fight... I think I get what **your deal** is. You're basically a **Klingon,** aren't you?"

"- THE ████ DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!" Bakugou roars.

" **Calm down, dude.** It's a **compliment** (... sort of.)" Kamala pushes back her hair. "The main thing is - **I get it,** all right? The whole **Viking honor** thing. The **fighting obsession.** The **aggro.** It kinda makes sense to me now.

"But seriously, dude - **learn how to people.** For your **own sake,** if not that of whatever **team** you wind up on. There's way more to being a hero than just **this** , you know?" She waves her hand over the destruction around them.

Bakugou just sneers at her, as is his wont. But then the expression fades as he turns away. The look in his eyes suggests he's genuinely uncertain how to respond.

* * *

"... what a mess." Elsewhere on campus, Nezu sighs and rubs his snout. He turns away from the windows and looks to the other figures gathered around him in his office - Eraserhead, Beast, Iron Man, and Thirteen (who arrived on campus off-panel at some point during the whole brouhaha.) " **Casualties?** "

"Reports are **still coming in,** " Eraserhead says grimly. "Emergency services haven't finished combing the campus. Lots of **injuries,** both major and minor. **Three deaths** so far - two support staff members, and a student from General Studies..."

Nezu's shoulders slump. "Oh, dear..."

"We've also got **support inbound** from all over the country," Thirteen adds. "Police, pro hero agencies, you name it. **Gang Orca** , **Best Jeanist** , **Endeavor**... even **Shiketsu High** is putting together a **student volunteer group.** They're set to arrive **tomorrow.** "

"Sounds like we're gonna have **quite the crowd** on our hands," Eraserhead says.

"Indeed. And with it, more prying eyes..." Nezu folds his paws and looks at the American heroes. "You understand that **an attack** of **this scale** is **unprecedented** in this day and age, don't you? At least in this country.

"I'm afraid there's **really no way** we'll be able to **hide your presence** from the **authorities,** given these events. I've already received several **inquiries** from them regarding the use of **unregistered Quirks** during the battle..."

" **Understood.** " Beast nods solemnly. "We'll have to **handle** that situation as it comes. Besides, I can't say I blame them for being **curious**. I may just be stating **the obvious** here, but I very much **doubt** an attack by **threats** from our era - so soon after **our own arrival** \- could just be a **coincidence**..."

"What I don't get is - you still have a **military** here, right?" Iron Man asks. "How'd **those things** even make it **this far inland** without your **air defenses** picking them up? They weren't exactly built for **stealth.** "

" **Questions** upon **questions** upon questions." Nezu shakes his head. "And **still nary an answer** to be found..."

"(Which reminds me,)" Thirteen mutters to him. "(Speaking of **mysteries**... I've got something **else** to report when you have a moment...)"

* * *

"... and that's the **situation.** " Down in the nurse's office, All Might sits up in one of the hospital beds. He's requested the room be locked down for this conversation, a fact that Recovery Girl is clearly not happy about given the current crisis. She putters about in the foreground, muttering darkly as she collects medical supplies to bring out with her when she goes to tend to the other students.

Thor and Deku stand by the side of All Might's bed. The student's managed to free himself from the plate strapped to his back, but the webbing sling around his broken arm remains.

"I've been trying to keep **my condition** a **secret,** " All Might continues. "Aside from Midoriya here, **none** of the other **students** here know. For the moment, at least... I'd like for it to **stay** that way.

"Please understand." In the next panel, All Might looks down at his hand. "I don't like lying... but I've spent my career trying to be a **symbol** for the people. Peace, hope, rule of law... I wanted to **embody** those values - to be a **beacon of security** that enables **others** to live their lives **free from worry**..."

("Deku, sweetie," Thor whispers to Midoriya in the next panel. We can see beads of sweat on her face. "Could I **borrow your shoulder** for a moment?"

"Huh?" Deku looks up at her, a slight blush on his face. "Uh... **sure.** I guess...")

"I know how **egotistical** this must sound to a newcomer... but all the same. Even if it's just an **illusion**... I want to **continue** to give them that **sense of comfort** for as long as I can. For however long **I have left**...

"That's why I must beg you, ma'am... please do not tell **anyone** what you **saw here today.** Not the children. Not even your **comrades.** Please... will you **grant the request** of **a dead man?** "

"I... will make thee a **bargain,** Sir All Might." Thor puts her hand on Deku's shoulder. "A **secret** for a **secret.** I **keep yours**..."

The next panel is a close-up on her side. She lets go of the hammer.

"... you keep mine," Jane Foster rasps in a small voice.

The next panel is a wide shot, showing everyone's reactions. Deku turns towards her in complete shock as she supports herself on his shoulder, his jaw open. Recovery Girl makes a strangled noise and drops what's she holding. "... Good Lord," All Might breathes.

Jane doesn't look too good these days. Hair's been gone for months - all of it. She's lost way too much weight. Her arms look as thin as reeds. She didn't make it out of her hospital gown before she last had to transform. So it goes.

The caption box next to her reads: _DR. JANE FOSTER. - Last chemo treatment: sixteen hours before she got nabbed. - No language in the universe can describe her current level of nausea. - All the doctors thought for sure she'd be dead two months ago._

"Are - are you **INSANE?!** " Recovery Girl screeches. She practically flash-steps over to Jane in the next panel, pure adrenaline overriding her age. "What could you possibly - **Midoriya!** Help me **get her** to the **other bed!** "

"Uh - **right!** " the student responds, who is obviously very close to completely freaking out.

"Where the **hell** did I put that **IV needle** -"

"Don't... bother." Jane coughs. " **Port** \- on my **right side**..."

"But - that means..."

"Yep... s'exactly what you think..."

They get her into the other hospital bed. All Might stares at her, frozen. He's never really seen this situation from the _outside_ before.

Recovery Girl's obviously picked up on the whole _fellow physician_ vibe from Jane by now. "How - how do I **help you?** " she asks.

"... don't suppose those powers of yours work on metastatic cancer?"

"No..." The tiny old woman shakes her head slowly. " **No,** I'm sorry... I can only accelerate **natural** healing. I **can't stop something** the body recognizes as **part of itself**..."

"Ha... figures." Jane coughs again. "Just some IV fluids, then, please... I'm pretty dehydrated right now."

"Of course..."

"M-my lady...," All Might stutters. "A-and your comrades... none of them know?"

Jane lies back in bed and gives him a crooked smile. "Of course not. If they did, they'd try to stop me."

("I don't get it!" Deku whispers to Recovery Girl in the background. "What's going on?! What's happening to her? Where'd all her **hair** go?!"

"She's dying...," Recovery Girl mutters. "That's all that matters right now...")

"But your condition... why would you **put yourself through this?** What could **possibly** be that important?"

Jane just raises a non-existent eyebrow. "... **really?** "

All Might realizes what he just said. "Ah, **well**..." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "I... suppose that **is** a bit rich, coming from me..."

"There you go. **Self-awareness.** Knew you had it in there **somewhere.** " Jane smiles again. "It's like you said, isn't it?

"None of us get to choose **how** and **when** we **fall**... just what we **stand for** while we're here."

* * *

The caption on the top of the next page reads: _LATER THAT NIGHT._

Still in non-heroic form, All Might stands on the roof of the main building, looking out over the ruined campus. He can't sleep. Just came out to get a breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, he finds the sight of giant robot corpses all over the place somehow less than soothing. He sighs and turns to go back...

... and finds the cloaked figure standing right behind him.

The Symbol of Peace doesn't react with surprise so much as exasperation. " **Finally!** Where have you been?!" he erupts. "Forgive me, but I need **answers!** What in Heaven's name is going on?! The attack today - the heroes from the past... did you **know** this was **going to happen?** Did you have something to do with it?"

"Yes," the cloak figure says.

All Might narrows his eyes. "Could you have **stopped** it?"

"..."

The pro hero takes a deep breath. "... please, _sempai._ This place... my students... they're **counting on me.** I'm begging you... just this once, I need a **straight answer** from you. If there's anything -"

"Toshinori, **listen,** " the figure says. "I don't have long. **We have less than three days to save this world.** **_I need your help._** "

All Might's eyes go wide. "If... if **you're** saying that, then..." In the next panel, he shifts his eyes. "... the Avengers. **You're** the one who **brought them** here, aren't you? To **help us.** "

The figure tilts his head slightly forward. "Right pocket. Your **pad.** "

All Might rummages through the pocket of his suit jacket. "Just tell me this... how many casualties if we fail? Thousands? **Millions?** **_More?!_** "

"... there's worse things than death here," the figure says softly.

"What **the devil** is that supposed to **mean?** "

"It means that **none of you** can even **begin** to **imagine** what we're up against at this point." We see the vague outline of a face beneath the figure's cowl. "I'm **sorry,** but there's **no time.** Now - **write this down...** "

* * *

The caption at the top of the page reads: _Elsewhere._

We find ourselves back in the dark chamber we saw in Issue 2. Additional screens hang in the air in the front of the room. The largest and most central of them displays static and the message SIGNAL LOST. The smaller screens around it, on the other hand, show still frames from the Sentinel battle - close-ups of Iron Man, Spidey, Thor, and Rogue, among others.

" **My,** " a new voice says. "Wasn't that **quite** the **entertainment.** "

"YOUR CONCLUSION?"

"Hm? Oh, of course. It **is** them, my Lord." A razor-thin albino woman sits next to the large throne at the center of the room. She has a red diadem implanted in her forehead and wears a skin-tight black dress, accented by an odd cape that hangs off her back in strips rather than as a single piece. A caption box nearby introduces her - _Valkyrie of Pestilence: RENKO THE SINISTER._ "If not the **originals,** then immensely accurate **copies.** Their data almost **exactly** matches the **Essex genetic memories.** (Though I don't think I recall the Asgardian being quite so... _shapely._ )

"But ah, Your Holiness!" Renko sighs. "If **only** you had **told me** of this **U.A.** place before! When I think of what I could **accomplish** with such **bright, eager young minds**... such **promising material**..." There's something fundamentally disturbing in the way that she leers, a bit of spittle leaking from the corner of her mouth.

"YOU'LL HAVE YOUR CHANCE IN DUE TIME." A knock echoes through the chamber. "WHAT IS IT?"

"Pardon the **interruption,** Sire." The old servant enters the chamber and bows. "You **ordered** me to **bring them** to you **directly.** "

"MMH."

In the next panel, four women enter behind the kneeling servant. They stand in a diamond formation.

The foremost woman wears a suit of heavy black armor. On - or perhaps _above_ \- her head rests what is clearly the battered yet still distinctive helm of the Asgardian Destroyer. She carries a large obsidian sword - an executioner's blade. The caption box next to her reads - _Valkyrie of Death: ?_

The woman to the left bears an unchanging crazed grin, her eyes wide and manic, her hair a wild neon-green mane. She wears golden plate armor with clawed gauntlets and carries an axe in one hand. The caption box next to her reads - _Valkyrie of War: THENA THE MAD._

The woman to the right looks to be little more than a wasted corpse. She wears bone armor beneath a threadbare cowl, a longbow slung over her shoulder. The caption box next to her reads - _Valkyrie of Famine: KARA THE TWILIGHT._

And finally, in the very back, there is a young girl, seemingly no older than six or seven, armed with nothing more than a parasol and a cheerful smile. She's dressed entirely in white, including a fancy Victorian dress and a hoop skirt. With her long blonde hair and blue eyes, she looks like an import from a nineteenth-century oil painting... or maybe _The Shining._ Her caption box reads - _Valkyrie of Conquest: RASPUTINA THE BLACK._

At the bottom of the panel, the old servant says, "... your **Horsemen** have arrived, Sire."

* * *

On the next page, we see a closeup of the door that leads off the main building's roof. The cloaked figure and All Might's word balloons are lettered in a small font, as if to make clear they're some distance away off panel.

"... Nezu should be able to figure it out from there," the figure mutters. "Remember, a **second dose** will **kill** you. You'll need to time this **carefully**..."

"I understand." All Might hesitates. "You **already know,** then... that I've passed on **One for All.** "

"Yes."

In the next panel, the door opens. Spider-Man sticks his head out onto the roof. "Um... Mister All Might... Guy? Man? Could I just **talk** to you for a second? About this **Deku kid** in **your class**... I've got a few **concerns** I wanted to... (wait, huh?)"

Spidey pads across the roof towards the pro hero and the figure, both of whom stand with their backs to him. All Might's so utterly wrapped up in the conversation, he doesn't even notice the approaching Avenger. (An egregious failure to keep his secret, perhaps... but in his defense, he _is_ in the middle of something really important.) "If I hadn't... if I'd **kept it**... could I have **stopped** all of this?" he asks. "Could I have **spared him** from...?"

" **No.** You **chose well,** Toshinori." There's a hint of a gentle smile beneath the figure's hood.

Spidey's eyes go wide in disbelief. "Hold on... **you?!** But... wait..."

The last page is one single splash panel as the cloaked figure and All Might turn towards Spider-Man. We see the figure's face in plain view. We see the costume between the cloak, complete with the familiar logo. Spidey sputters out the issue's last words from off-panel:

"... you gotta be kidding me! **SUPERMAN?!** "

* * *

 **OMAKE / LETTERS COLUMN!**

 _Yup. Stealth three-way crossover, suckers. Ain't fanfic grand?_

 _So... yeah. I know it's been a while here. But hey, when you think about it, is there anything more representative of comics than schedule slip? But I kid._

 _Anyway, since I have put this off for so long, there's one or two details I should probably specify. This story takes place between My Hero Academia Seasons 2 and 3 - or for any manga readers out there, before the Forest Training Camp Arc. (Spoilers incoming for the rest of this paragraph!) Thus All Might still has his powers, Deku hasn't developed Costume Gamma or Shoot Style, most of the kids don't have their super moves yet, etc. I'm also way behind on my Marvel comics, so don't be shocked if there's some major development or new information I've missed out on._

 _A few notes for the Marvel heads: yes, I know that the thing inside of Mjolnir is called the Mother of_ Thunder, _not the Mother of Storms. Mother of Storms just sounded better to me, no matter how I tried writing that part. Spidey considering himself to have been less of a 'natural' hero as a teenager when compared to Deku makes sense if you take into account the period of time before Uncle Ben's death - e.g. him trying to cash in on his powers rather than make a difference with them. And I've got no-prizes waiting for anyone who can figure out who the members of the Quirky Miniboss Squad are in the comments. Some of them I'll admit are pretty obscure. Let's just say I spent a lot of time on the Marvel fan wikis and leave it at that._

 _I'm just glad I finally got to reveal the TRUE protagonist of this little adventure. I speak, of course, of that inimitable hero of legend, that classic character, one who needs no introduction... Sentinel #X-42903-22. Welcome to the cast, buddy. It's been so lonely without you._

 _Anyway - let's take care of some questions here, shall we..._

* * *

 _Q: Will (insert name here) be appearing here? - lots and lots of people_

 _Okay, let's just get this out of the way. I have absolutely nothing against any of them (and in fact am a big fan of quite a few.) But all the same, I'm afraid the following characters will_ **NOT** _be appearing in this story:_

The caption box above the first omake panel reads: _Miles Morales and Spider-Gwen. (Though I frigging loved_ Into the Spider Verse, _for the record.)_

Spider-Gwen shrugs. "Meh, works for me. I got enough going on."

"Stings a lot less now that we've got **this!** " Miles gleefully holds up their Golden Globe award.

The caption box above the second panel reads: _Bruce Banner/The Hulk - in any of his various forms._

Bruce Banner stands next to his alter-ego, coffee mug in hand. (Turns out they're pretty chill with each other behind the scenes. Who knew?) "Yeah, I think I'm okay with that."

"HULK NO LIKE HULK IN FUTURE," the green giant rumbles. "HULK ALWAYS END UP BEING EVIL, OR COWARD, OR LOST CAST MEMBER FROM _DELIVERANCE._ "

The caption box above the third panel reads: _Scarlet Witch, Vision, Ultron, Ant-Man or the Wasp._

Ultron raises its nose. "HUMPH. STUPID MEATBAGS DON'T DESERVE MY GLORY ANYWAY."

Vision facepalms, as one invariably does in the presence of a racist relative. "Dad, c'mon... we talked about this..." Scarlet Witch just eyes them both and sighs. She's learned not to get involved.

"Oh, sure, fine, ignore me!" Ant Man throws up his hands. "I mean, _Infinity War_ did! Just follow the herd, why don't you!"

The Wasp gives him a cold look. "Hey, at least they're letting **you** show up for _Endgame._ "

The caption box above the fourth panel reads: _Saitama or Goku. (Kinda crossing enough streams already as is.)_

Saitama shrugs. "Okay. Seems pretty boring anyway."

Goku grins and rubs the back of his head. "Fine by me. Honestly, I feel kinda multiversed out right now!"

The caption box above the fifth and final panel reads: _Or Deadpool. Sorry, big guy._

"You **do** get this isn't gonna stop them from guessing, right?" Deadpool tilts his head. "I mean, c'mon! You just threw a whole **multiverse** of new possibilities at them, for [BLEEP]'s sake!"

 _(sigh) Yeah, I know..._

* * *

 _Q: Why use Jane Foster's version of Thor? - Althea Sirius_

 _Without getting into plot spoilers? I wanted to see how she and All Might would bounce off of each other. The parallels are pretty obvious. Both spent their lives serving people, both are dealing with mortality and their own failing bodies. I was curious to see how they'd react to each other._

 _And then there's the fact that Jane is made of Pure Awesome, and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. Having personally seen chemotherapy up close in the past, I can say without a doubt that combining being a superhero with having to face_ that _every week automatically grants her bigger balls than any Norse deity one cares to name. (Metaphorically speaking, anyway.)_

* * *

 _Q: This story seems more like time travel than it does crossover. - Althea Sirius (again)_

 _Hmmmmm, yeah, that is kinda an odd choice on my part, isn't it? It's almost like I wanted to try and hint somehow that - Marvel multiverse weirdness aside - the Avengers aren't_ really _the ones who are properly crossing over, and that the true universe hopper had yet to be seen... :D_

* * *

 _Q: Bakugou, do you still want a rematch against Squirrel Girl?_

"OF ████ING COURSE!" Bakugou roars, arms crossed. "What, did you ████s actually think I'd back down?! I'LL **CRUSH** HER!"

"Yeaaaahhhh, I wouldn't do that, kid." Iron Man walks in from the side of the panel.

"AND WHY THE ████ NOT?!"

"Let me put it this way - do you have any idea **how many squirrels** there are in the world?"

Bakugou pauses. "... eh?"

In the next panel, Tony takes off his helmet, just to show the kid he's being completely serious. "I once sat down and did the math. In my time, there were something like **1.1 BILLION** in the **continental US alone.** Call it at a little over **three for every human?** Works out to about **1.2 trillion pounds** of **biomass.**

"I'm pretty sure she can access **all** of them, any time she wants. Her control doesn't seem to be limited by **range** or **numbers.** I've seen her **completely lock down** all five boroughs at once - **by herself.** She doesn't talk about it much or do it very often... but she **can.** "

Close-up on Tony's face as he stares into the cold, dark void. "They're **smarter** when they're following her orders, too... able to handle and delegate **complex tasks.** You just saw them sabotage **electronics** and **complex machinery.** If she went after **infrastructure** on a **mass scale,** there'd be **no stopping her.** Power, water, mass transit, communications - all gone **within a week** at most.

"Human civilization as we know it only exists because she **allows** it to. The fate of the entire planet **literally** depends on Doreen remaining **happy** and **stable.** And the fact that she's pretty much both of those things **personified** is one of the few reasons I'm able to sleep at night."

To Bakugou's credit, he does seem a little unnerved by this. He turns his head away. "... still not backing down," he grumbles.

"Your call, Kid Claymore." Tony snaps his fingers. "Ooh! And watch out for those **knuckle claw** things! Those can really sting when she remembers she has them."

 _A few additional notes: being that I am, as I mentioned,_ way _behind on the comics, I have no idea if the writers have established some sort of limit to Doreen's powers since the last time I checked in. (At the very least, since Marvel Universe squirrels appear to have some degree of free will, they might simply refuse her orders.)_

 _But otherwise... yeah, I'm pretty sure that she could curb-stomp humanity if she really wanted to. Basically everywhere outside of Antarctica would be screwed... and even that's assuming she can't teach them to knit tiny little parkas for themselves._

 _And that's why I think Squirrel Girl should be classified as a walking WMD... y'know, even more so than she already is, I mean. Thank you for coming to my TED talk._

* * *

 _Q: So why are the Sentinels so chatty here, anyway? Isn't it, like, CRAZY inefficient for them to keep describing everything they're doing out loud?_

A caption at the top of the first panel reads: _CENTURIES AGO..._

Somewhere within the development pits inside Trask Industries, a bespeckled nerd sticks his head into another employee's cubicle. (We do in fact see a Speak-and-Spell propped up on top of one of the file cabinets.) "Hey, Justin - I was just thinking... did you remember to turn off **activity logging** on that build we sent out yesterday? Because I don't think I did..."

"What do you mean?" Justin's eyes don't budge from his computer screen. "Of course I -"

He freezes as the realization sets in. "..."

There's a beat panel as the two engineers eye each other.

"... eh." Justin shrugs and goes back to what he's doing. "Next deadline's already been set. Let's just wait and see if anyone complains about it."

"Works for me."

The caption below the final panel reads: **_AND NOW YOU KNOW!_**

* * *

 _That's it for now. Until next time, whenever that is!_


End file.
